Mischief at Konoha Secondary
by Fentown
Summary: Naruto, Sasuke and Gaara are students at the prestigious boarding school, Mischief and Romance ensues. A/U, Soft-core Yaoi 3
1. Chapter 1

**So here's the setting; it's an Alternate non-ninja Universe (sorry guys) where they attend a regular school, get into mischief, fall in love, etc. etc.**

**Oh yes- and it's yaoi. What pairings? Oh ho ho...**

**...Chapter One :)  
**

**X X X X  
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_Konoha Secondary**:**_ the prestigious boarding school which attracted applicants like moths to a beautiful light. Home to the best athletes and the brightest pupils, world renowned for excellence in music, drama and the arts. The building which now had green spray paint all over its fancy expensive bricks as the store had run out of black.

Naruto grinned and admired his handywork, _Anarchism! Rock and Role!_ Even the spelling was perfect, he knew, because he'd checked it on Word first. Take that stupid, fun-forbidding, life-sucking, lame... school! Place. Naruto hummed what he thought was the tune to a song he liked and tossed the empty paint can in the trash, sauntering away with all the innocence of the world. The first time he'd done this he'd been so nervous that he'd run full-speed (and he was one of the fastest guys on the soccer team) all the way back to his dorm, knocked over a teacher and gotten another double detention. Iruka, his guardian and the unfortunate teacher who'd taken the spill, had scolded him for at least 20 minutes about being more careful in the hallways, people could and did get hurt, blah blah blah. Well, not this time. Whistling to show just how nonchalant he really was, Naruto skipped away wondering how he'd never thought of this before. No one suspected happy people! His laughter was cut short as he slammed into someone walking in the opposite direction.

"Oof! Sorry, man- didn't see you ther-"

"Tch. Watch where you're going, loser." The black-haired boy Naruto had nearly knocked over glared at him and stalked off. Rather huffily, Naruto might add.

His embarrassed grin now a frown, Naruto rubbed the back of his head and picked himself up off the ground. What a bastard.

**/POV/**

Sasuke was annoyed. Really, really annoyed. First he'd gotten up late because his alarm hadn't gone off, then he'd received an 82 on an English project. Now some stupid Blond apparently on drugs had run into him and crumpled his uniform.

"Tch."

Sasuke glared at the trees. It was barely November and they'd already lost most of their leaves. Or was that normal? Sasuke decided he didn't care, he'd never paid the seasons much attention anyway. Grades were the only thing anyone cared about anyway. Well maybe not, but they were important, his brother Itachi had excessively drilled that into his head at a young age. Okay, he'd talked about hard work and dedication but it was basically the same thing.

An 82! It was pathetic. He could score better in Bio in his sleep. Kakshi must have a grudge against him or something, just because he didn't get all emo writing poetry. Who cared about poetry anyway? No one read it, or no one normal at least. Yeah.

Sasuke paused briefly to unlock the door to his room, careful to stow his key back in his wallet. Some idiots didn't even bother which was exactly how stuff got stolen. Sasuke shook his head to clear it and sat down at his desk, not bothering to look around. What was there to see? His bed? The other bed for a roommate who didn't exist? Headphones on full-blast, Sasuke spent the next hour and a half contentedly studying the chemical structures of biological molecules and how they were involved in cellular processes.

covalent bonds... ionic bonds... "Tch." They'd done this stuff in grade nine.

allosteric site... substrate-enzyme complex... inhibition... That was more like it. As Sasuke read he took careful notes, bobbing his head when a particularly catchy song came on. This was why he loved having no roommate- he didn't have to worry about people seeing him. He had an image to maintain, after all.

Single rooms were so awesome, thought Sasuke as the boy stretched his arms above his head and leaned back, eyes closed. No one to bother him while he studied or to keep him awake at night with their crappy music or basically disturb him in any way shape or form. Sasuke grinned and began to turn around his swivel chair to check the clock on the opposite wall but stopped mid-way through. Oh no. Oh no!

What was some red-haired boy with dark eyes doing reading on the bed that was supposed to be vacant? Vacant! When had this happened! Sasuke quickly thought back to that morning- no good, he'd been too busy not being late to notice much of anything and the night before he'd gotten in late after a long student council meeting and collapsed on his bed for the night. Oh God.

Sasuke was too shocked to move so he ended up just staring at the boy in horror. His messy red hair, crimson actually, was shoulder length, his uniform was untucked as Sasuke's own while he was in what used to be the privacy of his own room and he was currently staring right back at Sasuke with a slight crease between non-existent eyebrows.

"...what?" His voice was deep but not too deep. Kind of nice sounding.

"Tch." Sasuke grumbled, suddenly recovering his senses. He had to get this sorted out fast. His room was his sanctuary! Surely it was too late in the semester to transfer in anyway. Yeah. Sasuke smoothed his appearance and took off for the principals office as quickly as he could while still looking cool.

**/POV/**

"... completely disrespectful! Have you no school pride? Or at least any sense? Naruto? Naruto!"

Naruto started and refelxively looked down at the green marks all over his hands which had given him away. It was just his luck that Iruka would just happen to see him walking away from a recently graffitied wall and put two and two together.

"Huh! Oh- yeah. Just- Iruka, I mean it was just one little-"

"You defaced school property! I let it go when it was just toilet paper in the boys' bathroom, but this is too much. Double detention." The blond-haired boy's legal guardian sighed. "I'm disappointed in you Naruto, you're better than this."

For a few minutes the two of them just looked at each other. Naruto trying to look repentent and Iruka trying to look angrier than he felt- it really was a harmless prank after all, and it wasn't as if Naruto had written anything obscene. But principal Tsunade was a proponent of the 'yell until they're too terrfied to disobey' theory and she would almost certainly do much worse than normal detention should she found out about Naruto's latest prank. Not that Iruka planned on telling her. Naruto wasn't a bad student, he got average marks in an elite school like Konoha high, but as an orphan, Tsunade had taken his schooling to heart and consequently, was rather more rough on him about 'keeping his nose clean'.

Naruto broke the silence first with a slow 'so can I go now?' to which Iruka waved him off and folded his arms. That was better. Angry looking.

Naruto slipped out of the office and gratefully tucked his hands behind his head, thanking his lucky stars that he'd gotten off so light. Unfortunately, he also closed his eyes as he did this and once again slammed into someone walking in the opposite direction. The same person, by the looks of the hurried glare he was currently receiving. The raven-haired boy left too quickly for Naruto to say sorry so the boy just picked himself up off the floor again and continued on his way to the cafeteria. They could patch things up later, even if the guy was a bastard.

The eating hall was usually open until seven and tonight was no exception. Naruto grinned as the smell of pizza hit him, and then wider when he recognized the trademark spiked ponytail of one of his friends face-down on a table, apparently sleeping.

"Yo, Naruto! Where've you been, man?" This from Kiba, the wild-looking brown haired boy who was seated next to Shikamaru, sharing a large plate of nachos with Choji. Naruto slid in across from him.

"Oh, Iruka was mad at me for some reason so I had to sit through another lecture. He talks, I tune him out and we're done." He explained, reaching for some chips with one still-green hand. "No biggie." His voice came out muffled though the delicious mouthful.

"Nice. You didn't miss much, we- ah, gross dude, chew your food." Kiba pretended to gag, looking around the cafeteria at the group of girls laughing at another table. The pink haired girl was play-mocking the blond one while a third girl with long dark hair and pale eyes watched and giggled through her hands. Kiba's eyes followed the last one slightly longer than the others before turning back to his friends.

Oblivious, Naruto shrug/grinned and swallowed this time before reaching for another chip.

**/POV/**

Gaara turned another page in the novel he was reading. The principal had warned him that his roommate might need some adjusting to but that boy had been downright strange, first ignoring him completely, freaking out like he'd just seen something horrible and then staring him down for no reason. Gaara briefly hoped that the black-haired boy (Sasuke?) wouldn't try and pick a fight with him as he was hoping to _avoid_ another reputation as a bloodthirsty monster. Gaara frowned. It wasn't his fault that his father had forced him to take martial arts, nor that people tended to choose him as a target for his small stature and lack of friends, nor that he'd broken Dmitri's leg (it was an accident and he was perfectly fine after a couple months in hospital, though that didn't stop rumours saying Gaara had tried to kill him).

How did his siblings manage to stay popular? It had always puzzled him as they could be quite ruthless themselves. Whenever Gaara had lost a fight, purposely or no, Temari would sabotage any hope the guy had of getting a date and Kankuro would lead the other popular boys in isolating and teasing the poor guy, which would in turn make him a target for the rest of the school. Surely that was much worse than one broken bone. It may have been overkill for the offense but Gaara suspected it was partly in apology for their father's favouritism.

Gaara turned his thoughts back to Братья Карамазовы. It had been among his favourite as a child in Russia. Too difficult or boring for most young people, perhaps, but though Gaara's homelife hadn't been the happiest, his unusual intellect had blossomed under his father's watchful, demanding eye. There was never much encouragement but plenty of punishment if he wasn't the top of his class, sometimes in the form of bruises if the man'd been drinking. Their mother had died in childbirth and Gaara seemed to remember always knowing that his father blamed him for it. It was particularly obvious when his siblings received extravagent gifts on their birthdays while his own was generally ignored. Yes it was also the anniversary of their mother's death, but surely a simple cake would not have been unreasonable? It all felt distant now that he was in another country. Why bother holding a grudge over something that you couldn't change?

So how _did_ his siblings manage to make and keep friends? Their father had also been an infamously ruthless, possibly corrupt, politician and yet people had only ever held it against his own character.

Perhaps he should make more of an effort to be friendly this time around? Gaara paused, thinking it might be difficult if was roommate was as neurotic as he appeared. Then there was that blond kid who kept talking to him during class, which might've been nice if the boy would shut up once in a while or if they didn't sit together in three of Gaara's four classes. How did that even happen? Naruto had plenty of his own friends so why was there only ever one empty seat next to him? Gaara's unspoken suspicion that someone had arranged it on purpose sounded ridiculous, even to himself. Who would have the influence or motivation?

**/POV/ **

"But it's not fair!" Sasuke was coming dangerously close to whining as he tried to convince the principal to give him his room back which, as she'd just finished telling him, she had no intention of doing.

"Tell that to Gaara- tell him it would be more fair of me to kick him out of Konoha Secondary just so you can have the place to yourself. Better yet, why don't I just ask everyone else on the floor to leave? No," Tsunade shook her head, "I'm afraid it's out of the question."

"With all due respect, Mrs. Hokage, I merely-"

"Ms."

"I beg your pardon?"

"Ms. Hokage."

"Ah- My apologies Ms.-"

"Yeah, yeah," Tsunade snapped, feeling like it was a jibe about her age, "I have a lot of important paperwork that's needed urgently, so if you don't mind, Mr. Uchiha."

Sasuke bit his tongue. He wasn't ready to give up but recognized what a bad mood the principal was suddenly in and decided to save it for another day. Perhaps a small gift would help his case, Sasuke pondered as he bowed and excused himself. Flowers, chocolates... too romantic. A new paper weight?

Tsunade noticed Sasuke frowning and hoped he felt bad about bringing up her age. She knew it was childish, but she couldn't help it, being around high school age kids all day just made her feel old and she wasn't ready to feel old. She wasn't even married yet! Tsunade groaned and slumped onto her desk, summoning her secretary Shizune to her side.

"Tsunade?"

"Report."

"Of course. Monday, November 12th. Substitute tenth grade teacher acclimatizing well, Mrs. Belafont still out for another month. Classes-"

"No, no," Tsunade waved her hand impatiently, "The other one."

"Oh... " Shizune flipped to the back of her clipboard. "Right. Approved friend Gaara Sabaku successfully transplanted in all coinciding classes. Naruto unsuspicious. Took to him well, speak often. Teachers unaware."

"Good!" Tsunade said, startling Shizune as she clapped her hands together and sat up. When that scary Russian man had first brought the boy in she'd been less than impressed, he looked like the worst kind of troublemaker. But his grades were exceptional and one donation later he and his siblings were at the top of the waiting list. It had all worked out somehow as three other students randomly transferred to other schools (actually, it was rather strange but Tsunade didn't delve too deep into it) and the Sabakus were in. When Tsunade had a chance to interview them, however, she'd been pleasantly surprised. They seemed like very bright, kind individuals with pleasant facial features. The one in Naruto's grade had caught her eye in particular as someone who was well-spoken but spoke little. That was when she had begun to formulate her plan.

He would be the perfect friend for Naruto! A _Wunderkind_ who the hyper-active orphan could look up to and depend on, as opposed to a lazy sloth, a glutton and a wild dog.

"Initiate phase two immediately." She instructed her assistant briskly.

"Yes Tsunade..." Shizune responded weakly. She really didn't think it was a good idea to meddle in the lives of students, but at least it had Tsunade enthusiastic about school again.

**X X X X**

**Gosh I wonder where this is going... ;)**


	2. It's Just Called Chapter 2

**And so it continues!**

**...Chapter Two :)  
**

**X X X X  
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"Tch."

Gaara had to consciously stop himself from grinding his teeth in frustration. The boy with whom he now spent an inordinate amount of time didn't seem to notice, his back facing Gaara as he pointed to various spots on the ridiculously long sheet of white paper now taped to the wall. Sasuke had just finished going over all of rules which he blindly expected Gaara to follow and concluded with his signature annoying sound, as if it were all some great strain on _him_ to live there.

"You can't be serious." Gaara intoned, thinking how quaint it was that Sasuke actually looked surprised that Gaara wasn't cooperating with his dictatorship.

"... I beg your pardon? I believe this comprehensive chart, particularly this diagram here, speaks well to my intent. My only goal is to make this arrangement as pleasant as possible. You stay on your side of the room, I'll stay on mine, and I'm sure we'll get along beautifully."

Don't cross the line Gaara had come back to find taped to the floor, don't talk to him or make noise in general, spend as little time as possible in the room, keep everything perfectly clean, no food, no pets, no visitors (this Sasuke had made especially clear regarding girls, there being an entire clause dedicated to the subject, causing Gaara to wonder if the boy didn't have some sort of phobia).

Gaara couldn't remember feeling so annoyed. This would never fly if Sasuke were afraid of him... Just a couple bruises and he could have some peace- No Gaara, fight it!

Not quite ready to give up on being friends, Gaara took a deep breath and continued in a more friendly tone. "It's a very long list, I don't know if I'll even be able to remember it all."

Sasuke's brow cleared as if some great confusion had just been cleared up. "Ah, well I suppose you may take it down to study tonight, but it should generally remain here for reference." He explained, gesturing to the poster. "I don't have time to quiz you in person, but perhaps you could sketch me a spider diagram so I know we're on the same page." Sasuke's tone made it clear that it wasn't a suggestion.

Pretentious bastard.

**/POV/**

"Hahh... hahh..." Naruto was bent double, leaning against the wall to catch his breath after running from one end of campus to the other. Where on earth could the red-haired boy be? Naruto was sure they'd agreed to meet at the cafeteria and had waited there for what felt like hours before realizing he'd told Gaara to meet him at the gym instead as it turned out that the school was holding a private dinner for the staff, something about community.

Had Gaara somehow forgotten? But they'd been talking about it for most of last period (or Naruto had, Gaara usually didn't have a lot to say) and that was only an hour ago. They were supposed to catch the afternoon showing of Black Swan to avoid the crowds. Might Gaara still be waiting at the caf? No, surely Naruto would have seen him, there weren't many places where one could hide.

Naruto knew this first hand form when he'd tried to lose Kakashi in the modest crowd after an assembly back when Iruka had assigned him assembly-watchers. It was so ridiculous and showed just how paranoid Iruka really was. Just because Naruto had snuck off _once_ and accidentally pulled the fire alarm didn't mean he planned on doing it again. He hadn't even planned on doing it the first time!

Naruto thought of all this as he double-checked the stage for angry red-heads, then the stands, then the boy's change room. He would just have to go on faith that Gaara wasn't in the girls'.

Argh! Where had Naruto not looked? And when had this turned into hide and seek? Not that Naruto necessarily didn't want to play... But it was times like this that Naruto wished Iruka would someday give in and buy him a cell phone. Then again, Gaara didn't have one either so it wouldn't actually be of any help... Still, he wanted one.

The bathroom! Of course! He hadn't even thought to check there before. Naruto slapped his forehead gently and, mostly recovered, took off for the cafeteria again. Hopefully Gaara would understand and they could still catch most of the movie.

**/POV/**

Perhaps this arrangement would work out after all, pondered Sasuke as he reorganized his bookcase by the Dewey Decimal system. He'd previously had them by subject, which turned out to be a disaster of the highest sort. When Itachi had asked to borrow an anthology of poems not too long ago, Sasuke'd had to fumble around for nearly a minute before recovering the requested work. So embarrasing.

The pale red-haired boy had worried him greatly at first, but between Gaara's apparent eagerness learn and comply with the rules and his naturally quiet demeanor, Sasuke was feeling a lot more at ease about sharing a room with him. Done. Sasuke nodded in approval, now he would be able to find anything quickly and easily. He was even a library regular, having excused himself from Sasuke's helpful lecture to take out a book he needed for English. In fact, as a show of good will, Sasuke decided he would even organize Gaara's bookcase as well.

Sasuke wandered over the line of tape he'd forbade Gaara to cross (it wasn't hypocritical, he was doing the boy a _favour_) to the mostly empty, erratically filled shelves on the other side. It had pained him to take down his collection of encylopedias after losing his private room but now he was curious as to what had replaced them. _Выря... Предложение... Медведь... _Most of them were written with strange letters, Crilic if Sasuke remembered correctly. No, of course it was Cyrillic. Yes, he knew that. It seemed that his delicately featured new roommate was fluent in some Eastern European language. Or was there some other reason he had them? Was the tragic death of a Russian lover causing him to hoard anything that reminded him of her? Of him? Sasuke blushed and began placing each one neatly on the middle shelf, examining each cover with interest though few had any illustrations.

Ah- finally, English. So Gaara was also a fan of Virginia Woolf and Shirley Jackson. Sasuke recognized various other volumes as written by prominent authors and wondered if the red-head might secretly enjoy the works of Lemony Snickett as was his own guilty pleasure. He found none however, but that didn't necessarily mean Sasuke was wrong as one did keep these things in one's own possesion. Sasuke found himself finished cataloguing Gaara's books alphabetically by last name sooner than he'd expected as there were so few of them compared to his own ample collection. Sasuke nodded his approval again before scanning the room for any books he may have missed (was this really all?), eventually coming upon the locked upper drawer of Gaara's _Konoha Seconday_ engraved desk. Locked? Sasuke jiggled the handle again- definitely locked.

Now that was just curious, what was so important to hide that Gaara had to lock the drawer even though he knew Sasuke would never so much as come near it? Practically never, he amended, one must allow for chance. And it wasn't as if he'd tried to find out Gaara's secrets on purpose.

Sasuke jiggled the handle again, listening for what might be inside but hearing nothing. Just as he was bending down to examine the keyhole there was a loud, hurried knock at the door. Startled, his heart beating hard in his chest and his palms suddenly sweaty, Sasuke ran back to his side of the room and flung himself on his bed, pretending to be asleep.

But it was not Gaara who had knocked, though to do so had been one of the things on Sasuke's chart. There was no sound of a key turning in a lock, but rather that of retreating footsteps as whoever it was apparently decided no one was home.

Sasuke let out a sigh he hadn't been aware of holding and felt his body relax. For the remainder of the evening he studied Phsyics and though he occasionally glanced at the locked drawer, was too nervous to approach it again.

**/POV/**

Naruto frowned as he walked through the halls, hands cradling the back of his head. Gaara hadn't been at the cafeteria, nor the gym, or even his room. Had the boy gotten tired of waiting and just gone to the movie without him? But he knew how much Naruto wanted to go with him. Argh, the tickets Naruto had gotten from Iruka were going to waste. This sucked.

Naruto began to close his eyes but stopped when he remembered how that had turned out the other day. Come to think of it, he hadn't spoken once to that black-haired grouch since bumping into him. Naruto honestly had meant to apologize... Tomorrow in class? They didn't sit anywhere near each other and besides, he and that guy with really long hair were psycho about grades so they probably wouldn't want to be distracted. Did that make sense? Naruto scratched his head. There was always after school, but Naruto had no idea where Sasuke hung out, having never seen him outside of class.

The best way was probably to track down the guy's dorm room...

**/POV/  
**

Even in the dark, the school courtyard was a lovely sight to behold. Its autumn shades of oranges, reds, yellows and subtle greens had all been carefully chosen by the school's internationally studied gardener. A bit excessive perhaps, but Konoha Secondary had the budget. Evening twilight dimly illuminated the crimson-haired boy sitting among the grasses and flowers, next to a small stack of books. The flora swayed gently in the night air and the sounds of Konoha's domesticated owls perched atop tall evergreens cooing quietly filled it with sound.

Gaara was so grateful to be away from Sasuke's continuous drills in roommate etiquette that he almost didn't mind that Naruto had stood him up after begging for two and a half days to see some movie together. All of the blond's other friends had declined on grounds that they'd either seen or slept through it far too many times at Naruto's behest and that ballet wasn't exactly their favourite subject. Kiba gave it props for being an erotic thriller but even he had limits.

Gaara wondered if the blond hadn't forgotten his own plans, having switched their meeting location at least four times before deciding on the courtyard for its proximity to the theatre. Then there was the whole debate Naruto had held with himself over the merits of afternoon vs. evening showings, eventually deciding on evening as the best time to appreciate its dark imagery and deep psychological plot.

At least the scenery was nice.

"Hoo. Hoohoo."

**/POV/**

Shizune massaged her neck as she walked out of the theatre. It felt so good to finally be walking after spending hours in those cramped little chairs. All around her people were discussing the movie they'd just seen, but Shizune tuned them out. She'd seen it four times already and really wasn't in the mood to hear about it again now. Or ever.

Phase two of Tsunade's plans, Operation Afterschool Hangout, had failed- she knew that much. There'd been no sign of the blond kid or the scary anywhere near the theatre all day. Tsunade wouldn't be happy, those free tickets to Naruto's favourite movie were supposed to be foolproof.

Shizune hadn't exactly been thrilled when she'd received orders to watch showing after showing of Black Swan, she was not much of a movie person. Nor did she enjoy having to disguise herself with a shawl and sunglasses to avoid detection which she had a feeling actually made her _easier_ to spot in a crowd, but Tsunade had picked it out special and she hadn't wanted to be rude. It didn't matter anyway, since no one had shown up.

Her legs still felt sore, maybe she would take a hot bath when she got home.

**X X X X**

**You are so awesome reviewer(s)!**

**And I hope every got that that 'Hoohoo' was an owl. ^^; **


	3. Chapter 3, Imagine That

**I tried Reviewer, I tried. OTL  
**

**...Chapter Three :)  
**

**X X X X**

Tsunade drilled her fingers against the fancy Mahogany desk in front of her and peered through half-open eyes at the dauntingly-high stack of offcial-looking documents she still had to go through. It wasn't enough that her ingenious plan had somehow failed- now some kid had to go and bring his cell phone to school. So instead of going out for a nice drink after work, she had to stay and do all the paperwork she couldn't get done during the day because she had to deal with a tidal wave of calls instead, either from parents who thought their kid's safety was at risk or who were angry that little Billy or Samantha wasn't allowed to bring their own. Some people just couldn't take 'the situation is being handled' for an answer. Some people couldn't even take, 'No Naruto, you absolutely may not have a phone, now or ever' for an answer.

"Hahh..." Tsunade groaned, thinking of how much she'd apologized already that morning, and hoping that something bad would happen to that crabby old bat who'd kept her on the line for more than 45 minutes. Did these people really have nothing better to do? Awash in thoughts of tongue burns and paper cuts, Tsunade flipped absently through a pamphlet about claustrophobia. She wasn't deliberately avoiding the paperwork, she just thought she should review some of this stuff too seeing as she'd slept through most of the presentation. Exactly.

As the respectable principal of _Konoha Secondary_ she was always being made to go to these boring seminars where they yacked on and on about some rare condition and how to accomodate students who had it. This one, ironically enough, had been held in a tiny room with barely enough space to fit everyone. Great time for the usual auditorium to have a leak, Tsunade smirked. Or had they been repainting it?

It didn't matter. The point was, it was funny. If she didn't have a prestigious school to represent, she might've laughed in that pretentious speaker's face. Take him down a couple notches, with his horribly patterned tie and nasally voice...

Anxiety disorder... fear of no escape... Tsunade's eyes slipped lazily down the page. Closed in... confined spaces... _I wonder what I should have for dinner_...

Hold on a second, she thought suddenly, sitting up perfectly straight. Confined space... Trapped (2002)... kidnapping... people forced to be together for along period of time... the kind of situation that bonded people fast!

It was perfect! But how?

"Shizune!"

**/POV/**

"So how do you like Konoha? Have you been studying? You mustn't get behind in your first week. You look kind of tired, more tired I mean. Have you made any friends? Oh, we hardly ever get to see you, being in different grades and all! Here- have some of my carrots." Temari paused in her endless stream of questions to dole out baby carrots, and then some green beans for good measure, onto Gaara's plate. He and his siblings, reunited for the first time since they'd arrived, were currently seated at the far end of the cafeteria, where the babble of excited, weekend voices was least loud.

"Temari, he's seventeen." Kankuro, a year above Gaara, said tiredly. "Give it a rest, would you?"

Temari frowned. She had grown accustomed to mothering her younger brothers, particularly Gaara, after they'd lost their real one. He hadn't gotten a lot of affection from anyone else in their family.

"Kankuro, I'm sure you haven't been getting enough vegetables either and they're so important to a growing body. You need at least-"

"All we'd ever do is eat vegetables if you had your way. Look, we don't need to be reminded of things like-"

"Excuse me, it's rude to interrupt someone when they're talking!"

"Unless you're older, then it's perfectly polite?"

"I'm not just older, I'm more mature. If I wasn't, you'd be the one lecturing _me_ about eating right."

"Oh please, spare us. You're the most immature person I know, reading those trashy Twilight novels over and over and getting upset whenever anyone badmouths them."

"Yeah, because all the big boys play with puppets. They sound different in English and just because you don't like something doesn't make it trashy!"

"At least it's a real hobby!" Kankuro spluttered. "At least I'm not gaga over some imaginary werewolf."

"Oh shut up." Temari rolled her eyes at Kankuro and turned to face Gaara instead.

"Tsk. You've gotten paler. Do you want me to come by this evening and read to you? It always put you to sleep early when we were kids." Temari affectionately brushed a lock of her baby brother's hair away from his face while Gaara's mind worked furiously to think of a way to get her to stop. Why couldn't his siblings be more like Sasuke's brother? The older Uchiha hardly said two words, though Gaara supposed he wasn't one to judge, and probably wouldn't hug Sasuke if they were about to get on separate planes, never to see each other again. Gaara imagined the two of them as Humphrey Bogart and Ingrid Bergman in Casablanca.

Actually, that was kind of sad. Maybe Itachi was less reserved in private?

"- and then there was this _huge _whirlpool that was gonna swallow, like, the whole entire ship, only-"

Naruto! Gaara never thought he'd be so relieved to hear the blond boy's incessant raving. After Naruto had apologized profusely and Gaara had finished pretending to be more annoyed than he felt (not wanting ditching him to become a habit) they were on good terms again, so if Gaara could just get his attention somehow...

"-sparkle! I mean, what kind of ridiculous person even thinks of this stuff?"

"You better drop it Kankuro. Right. Now."

Preferably sometime soon. Gaara watched discreetly as Naruto and a boy with brown hair whose name he couldn't quite remember sat down at a table where a girl with badly dyed hair was braiding another's hair. On second thought, perhaps he ought to try just slipping away without his siblings noticing- they were quite engrossed in their arguement after all, and it didn't look as if Naruto had time to be his excuse. In fact, if Gaara did call the blond over, he might just sit down and start a long conversation with the other Sabakus. That settles it, Gaara decided. He would simply start moving towards the vending machines and later act like something important had suddenly come up... A library book overdue? A forgotten detention?

"Oooh, now who's immature? Isn't throwing food supposed to be done by babies, not 'grown-up women' like yourself? For shame, Temari, for shame."

"Keep talking and I swear you'll get worse than carrots!"

His siblings were overbearing and bothersome? He could work on the reason later.

_Here goes..._ Gaara got up nonchalantly from the cafeteria bench where his siblings were now having a small food fight and began ambling away across the room. He was starting to think that he'd been spent much too long overthinking this, he could've been curled up in his room by now with Dostoyevsky, when the same voice which had so relieved him to hear minutes earlier rang unpleasantly in his ears.

"Gaara! Gaara, over here! Guys, this is the guy I was telling you about. Hey! Gaara!" Naruto was looking straight at him and waving frantically. A number of people actually, had turned to see what all the commotion was about, including Kankuro and Temari.

Damn it.

**/POV/**

_Damn it!_ Sasuke cursed inwardly as the screwdriver he was patiently manipulating once again failed to catch in the lock. He'd already tried his room key, two pencils, the jagged end of a coat hanger, even a hairpin he'd found on the ground and the drawer hadn't budged an inch. Sasuke jiggled the handle for the umpteenth time. Still locked.

He sighed and stood up to stretch. The second Gaara had left that afternoon, presumably for the library, Sasuke's curiosity had overwhelmed him and he'd been at it ever since. He had to know what was in that drawer! If it was a personal diary, Sasuke had decided, he wouldn't even look through it. That would be rude. He certainly didn't plan to take anything either, his only object was the quest for knowledge, which was perfectly noble. Anyways, Gaara would never know.

There must be a key someplace... someplace hidden, Sasuke reasoned and laid his body briefly on the floor to check under his roommate's bed. Somewhere he wasn't expected to go... Sasuke had a flash of doubt and possibly guilt- technically, he wasn't expected to go anywhere on Gaara's side of the room. _But I don't mean any harm, I'm not looking for anything incriminating. If it _is_ incriminating, well, I bet I could help and Gaara would be really glad to have someone to confide in. Yes, I can keep one little secret for my new friend- easily. _

Sasuke nodded, satisfied, and continued to search for out of the way and inconspicuous places where one might think to hide a small key.

**/POV/**

Gaara gave a small sigh and wondered why he didn't just leave. So what if it would be rude? So what if it might hurt his siblings' and his precious, if annoying, friend's feelings? Gaara sighed again, it was no use trying to convince himself.

Naruto had indeed started a long conversation with the other Sabakus after they'd seen each other in the cafeteria and now they were all walking around outside talking an hour later. Gaara wasn't entirely sure how the blond had known they were related as there was minimal family resemblance, but he was apparently very good at guessing.

"That's hilarious!"

"I know! You guys should definitely watch it with me sometime."

"That sounds interesting, do you have it on your laptop? Your room would probably be the best spot for a viewing." Temari suggested. Her tone may have been casual, but Gaara knew she was on high-alert, trying to find out as much information as possible on Gaara's self-proclaimed best friend.

"Oh, yeah sure. You wanna watch it today? Actually, there's a concert tonight in the auditorium that I kinda wanted to go to..."

"Of course, how silly of me. I love Olenka and the Autumn lovers and would love to attend it with all of you."

"Is that what they're called?" Naruto grinned and rubbed the back of his head sheepishly. "Okay, cool! I think it starts at like 7."

Fantastic, thought Gaara. Would they accept it without a fight if he just told them he didn't want to go?

**/POV/**

The lighting had been subdued, but it was still plenty bright enough to distinguish between colours, red and yellow in particular. Tsunade smiled as she welcomed students into _Konoha Secondary_'s large assembly hall. She grinned wider as she recalled having to distinguish between a multipurpose gym and an actual assembly hall for her public school counterparts. It was good to be principal.

Nothing could dampen her spirits this evening, not dress code violations (some girls had no shame, the uniform skirts are a certain length for a reason), not the awful screeching as the band tuned their instruments, not even the gum that was presently stuck to the bottom of her new shoes. Tonight, her impressionable little orphan was going to become lifelong friends with people she heartily approved of. Instead of pointlessly chatting with slothman and dogboy, Naruto would now spend hours studying with Gaara and her earlier discovery, Sasuke, who, though somewhat pretentious, was veritably enthusiastic about grades. It had been such a headache to get those two to room together, but it would all pay off when Naruto learned respect for authority (finally, no more 'Granny') and modesty in speech.

The room grew dark and a spotlight focused on the lead singer as she introduced the band and then read the short speech about hard work Tsunade had written for her. Good. Now the students were clapping and murmuring in anticipation.

She'd come a long way since that morning when the idea had orignally come to her. Shizune hadn't had any ideas either, much to Tsunade's chagrin, so she'd sent the young women to follow Naruto and report back periodically. Shizune hadn't seemed too excited about her new mission, but she probably just wasn't as expressive as Tsunade, who could hardly keep herself form rubbing her hands together like some evil genius whose plan for world dominition was about to come to fruition. After an uneventful couple of hours during which Naruto just hung out and watched a movie with people Tsunade didn't care enough about to remember their names, Shizune came back with news that Orphan A had made contact with not just Target 1, but also Target 1's siblings, Associates X and Y. Not only that, but all four of them apparently planned to attend the concert the music teacher (Katherine? Or was it Kurenai?) had set up. Everything had just blossomed from there and now Tsunade was waiting patiently for the moment when the noise would be over and her plan could begin.

**/POV/**

This was pretty good, thought Naruto as he swayed to the music. He'd never even heard of Owen and the Winter Haters until a couple days ago when Mrs. Kurenai had announced her favourite band would be holding a concert here at the end of Friday's class. It wasn't exactly Naruto's typical genre, but it was nice. Plus, he'd finally had an excuse to talk to Gaara's siblings whom he'd seen around campus and now they were all hanging out together. Temari was so nice, she kept asking him questions about where he'd lived before coming to Konoha Secondary, what his grades were like, whether or not he liked school... a bunch more but Naruto couldn't remember them. Kankuro was cool too, he'd seemed really into the shipwrecked movie Naruto'd been telling him about. Actually, hadn't Temari been as well? Naruto grinned as he thought about his favourite scene.

Suddenly the song ended and everyone was clapping. Huh? Naruto looked around at his companions, Kiba and Kankuro were hooting and not looking his way, Shikamaru had disappeared like a half-hour ago, Choji, Temari and Gaara were all clapping politely, only watching the stage.

"Hey, is it over?" Naruto tried to ask but could barely hear himself over the encore the band was now playing. Lots of people were moving towards the exit and was starting to get jostled in the crowd. One person nearly tripped over him and another had come dangerously close to getting his drink all over Naruto's clothes.

"I'll see you guys at the exit, okay?" He yelled over hundreds of voices, some singing along, some gossiping with vigour after being mostly quiet for so long. "I'll see you outside!" Gaara looked at him but Naruto wasn't sure he'd heard so he motioned toward the door before letting the crowd sweep him away.

**/POV/**

Gaara watched as Naruto moved with the tide towards the auditorium doors and thought how alike to a school of fish they looked. Olenka and the Autumn lovers had finished their repetition of Odessa to a smaller round of applause and were now packing up their instruments so it was probably safe to follow Naruto and see what he wanted. He'd appeared somewhat frantic motioning to Gaara while avoiding everyone trying to trample him as he was standing in the middle of the aisle.

Gaara had almost made it out when someone suddenly pushed him through an open door and shut it quickly with a sound that sounded sickeningly like a key turning in a lock. Inside, everything was dark as closets normally do not have windows. The floor felt cold and smooth beneath his hand but most of his body was currently pressed to whoever he had just knocked down in his fall. Apparently he hadn't been the only one pushed in the closet.

"Sorry." Gaara apologized roughly, annoyed about being pushed in a closet which may or may have been locked.

"Gaara?" A familiar voice asked in amazement.

"Naruto?"

**X X X X**

**I guess romance will have to wait for the next chapter... ;)**


	4. Chapter 4 is Chapter 4

**Gettin' there guys, gettin' there.**

**...Chapter Four :)  
**

**X X X X**

"Gaara?" Naruto asked again in the same surprised tone.

"What?" The red-head replied as he felt along the shelves behind him to push himself to his feet.

"Well..." Naruto sounded hesitant. "I mean, you could've just asked me to come if you wanted to talk or whatever. That kinda hurt." Rustling from his general vicinity indicated Naruto was rubbing a sore spot on his elbow.

"You think I fell in here on purpose?" Gaara was incredulous and somewhat uncharacteristically, it showed in his voice. How thick could the blond boy be?

"..."

"...didn't y-"

"No! Someone pushed me."

"You too? But why would someone..."

"I don't know." Gaara felt his way to the doorknob and tried to open it. As expected, it didn't move. "But they did, and then they locked us in."

"But why would someone even wanna _do_ that?" He could have been deliberating over what to have for lunch for all the urgency in his voice.

"Naruto."

"...Yeah?"

"The door is locked."

"Yeah, I guessed that was why you hadn't opened it yet... Plus I heard the handle."

"The door is locked!"

"I heard you the first time."

"That was the second time."

"Right- the second time."

"Naruto, the door is locked as in we can't get out and no one knows we're in here!"

"... Well, if someone did push us then they would know..."

Gaara slapped his forehead gently in frustration. "You think they're just going to let us out?"

"Well I dunno, maybe they just did it for a joke?" Naruto offered hopefully and neither of them spoke for a moment, considering this.

"Are you still on the floor?"

Gaara could hear more rustling as he assumed Naruto stood up.

"...No."

**/POV/**

Naruto rubbed his cheek absently, feeling immensely relieved that his friend couldn't see the blush creeping down his face right now. _C'mon Naruto, snap out of it!_ he chided himself for getting embarrassed over something silly like not getting up right away. It was the only reason he could think of that might make his stomach feel all fluttery- not that it'd ever happened before but he supposed there was a first for everything. He felt kind of warm, actually, and hoped that this wasn't the boiler room. Yeah, it felt a lot like a closet, and there might not have even been room for a boiler, but you never know. Not a lot of room... for whatever reason, his blush intensified at the thought.

"Soo... What's new?" Naruto thought he might have heard a sigh but wasn't really sure.

"No, you're right. It's no use getting worked up over this when there's nothing we can do but wait. Or there's probably nothing."

He was right? Naruto wondered when he'd said that. Wait, what had Gaara said he said again? They should work out to pass the time? But then they'd be all sweaty and again, there wasn't a lot of room. Naruto cursed himself as he started blushing again, then took it back in case it meant he was coming down with a fever. _Uh oh_- that meant he was probably passing it on to Gaara right now. They would both be sick by the time someone came for window cleaner and let them out. He couldn't even work out!

"If I recall correctly, this place is sound proof- Mrs. Kurenai said she comes here to practice but only on Tuesdays, so we could wear out our vocal cords yelling and no one would hear. If only we had some way of contacting the outside world- that would be ideal."

Stupid blush. Mr. Guy had said it was an ancient way of hiding your face or something... _Yeah, great job face, no one can see me now ...Actually, that's true, no one can see me right now._ For emphasis, Naruto waved his hand in front of what he assumed was Gaara's face and no hand came out to swat it away. Poor Hinata though- she already looked nervous in gym class without having the teacher call her out on it, and in broad daylight too. _I should've said something, I was her basketball passing partner that day._ Naruto frowned and rubbed the back of his head.

"-phones but of course, the school's really strict about that." Now Naruto was sure he'd heard Gaara sigh- sort of a yearnful yet breezy sound. Yearnful.. where had he heard that word before and what did it mean? "We could try picking the lock but even a skilled burglar would have difficulty doing it in the dark with no lock-picking equipment." Naruto heard the door handle rattle again.

Yearn... to yearn for something... like to desire it? Yeah, Iruka had said he yearned for ramen, and he certainly did desire it often...

"This sucks." Gaara said in his usual monotone.

"Yeah, sorry. I'm trying not to breath on you, just in case I'm contagious or whatever, but I don't really think excercising in here is a good idea either."

"..."

"...?"

"..."

"Heh, heh." Naruto laughed awkwardly, trying to cover up his embarrassment over saying something weird. Gaara had probably moved on to other topics when he hadn't been listening. This whole blushing-thing was becoming a disturbing habit.

"..."

**/POV/**

Gaara was not alone in trying to figure out how to pick a lock. Sasuke was currently staring down the ceiling above his bed, thinking hard for his own solution. The drawer had thwarted his every earnest attempt to open it so he'd come back to his side of the room to regroup- regroup and compose an alibi in case his alluring roommate came back unexpectedly to find Sasuke trying to help him with whatever he was hiding and misunderstood something. That was one awkward conversation Sasuke was hoping to avoid...

"Hahh..." The black haired boy sighed and leaned back his head farther on the pillow. So many hours he could have spent studying wasted doing something stupid and possibly morally questionable (not really). Such a disappointment. His physics book was still lying open on his desk, he knew, where he'd left it in a rush that afternoon. Well, no rush now. In fact, forget the whole thing. Who cared what Gaara was hiding? Certainly not Sasuke. He cared so little that even if Gaara opened the thing for him, he wouldn't even look.

Well, not much, one quick peek. But that was beside the point. Sasuke could feel his eyelids drooping, the stress of looking over his shoulder all evening seemed to be taking its toll. Like this random guy would be involved in the CIA or something... pfft. Even if there were Lemony Snickett books in there...

He _was_ rather sleepy... Sasuke shifted to a more comfortable position in preparation for a well-deserved nap and had almost drifted out of consciousness when he was rudely disturbed.

Bang, bang, bang!

"Yo! C'mon, open up man!"

_Oh God... What is this?_ Sasuke peered blearily at the door. _Make it stop!_

"I know you're in there Naruto, I already checked everywhere else and Kankuro said you'd gone off someplace with that red-haired kid! Tsunade's at my throat, I need my-" The yelling briefly abated as whoever was at the door apparently whispered the last part.

"- back, okay? She said she would count detentions for every minute I'm gone!"

Sasuke groaned and covered his ears, praying the boy would just go away. He didn't. The knocking just got louder and the shouting more intense.

"DAMN IT NARUTO, OPEN THE DO-" Kiba faltered as he stared into the angry face of the class president instead of his happy-go-lucky best pal.

"Aah- sorry, dude. Really, I uh, thought this was Gaara's room." It was common knowledge that the Uchiha brothers chased off any roommate they were paired with within a week.

"Tch. And that's why you had to break down my door?"

"I- uh, sorry." Kiba normally wasn't one to back down, but damn, was this guy scary.

"If it's incredibly urgent, you may return tomorrow afternoon at a decent hour. Good night." And with that, Sasuke slammed the door in the poor boy's face.

Grumbling and exceedingly annoyed, he dragged his feet over to his bed and fell onto it face-down. It wasn't long, however, before there was a second, more tentative knock at the door. _Aghh!_ Sasuke reached blindly for his pillow and pressed it over his head to block out the noise. It didn't work.

"_Pardon_ my rudeness, but I believe we just had this conversation." Sasuke said with obvious restraint after again opening the door to a hesitant-looking Kiba.

"Yeah, um, I know, but did you say that... Gaara _does_ live here?"

"Yes."

"Really?" Kiba asked perplexedly, but quickly added on, "Ah- but, you said they're not here?" when he noticed how much Sasuke's expression had darkened.

"That is indeed what I said. Now I say again: good night." Sasuke began to shut the door but stopped when Kiba quickly explained his confusion. Sasuke's acceptable, pleasant roommate and some kid name Naruto, Kiba's own roommate were nowhere to be found? Teenagers didn't stay out late at Konoha Secondary- not if they didn't want to get 10 slaps across their hands. They didn't sleep over in each other's rooms either- not if they didn't want 20 slaps. Sasuke didn't know about this Naruto person, but Gaara was a good student! He was being corrupted!

"We have to find them!" Sasuke told Kiba with vigour. Relieved by the black-haired boy's compliance, it wasn't like his pal to miss dinner and it made him kind of worried, Kiba nodded his head enthusiastically and the two of them set about planning a course of action which would both let them search as much of the school as possible and avoid detection by patrolling teachers.

**/POV/**

"It doesn't matter- none of it would help anyway."

"Aw, come on! I tuned out for a little bit but I wanna know what you said!"

"Honestly-"

"Just say it really fast!" Naruto whined. He didn't want his precious friend to think he didn't care about him. "Really fast!"

Gaara tried not to sigh again as he briefly recapped all of the escape options he'd been ruminating about. "Cell phone, yell, lockpick, slide a note under the door (turns out there's no crack), conserve oxygen until rescue..."

Uh huh. Uh huh. Naruto mentally checked off each option and wondered why they wouldn't work, that last one sounded pretty good. Wait...

"Gaara, what was that last thing you said?" Naruto asked excitedly.

"...Conserve oxygen?"

"Ah, no the last one before that."

"Note under the door?"

"Last last last before that."

"Naruto, that's not last, that's first." Gaara stated tiredly.

"Yeah, that one! Cell phone, right? I totally forgot I had a phone! Kiba lent it to me so Tsunade couldn't confiscate it 'cause she's been acting really suspicious lately. Oh my God, this is fantastic! Gaara, we're free!"

While Naruto's grinning faced glowed with the light from Kiba's phone, Gaara tried to get over his annoyance that Naruto'd had a working phone this entire time. He was almost too annoyed to wonder how Kiba had even gotten his phone inside the school. For all of its prestige, Konoha Secondary resembled a prison in that its large iron-wrought gates were almost permanently sealed, to 'protect the students from outside threats' after a stray bear had wandered in a number of years ago. Few other students had ever smuggled one in, so if he wasn't texting his friends, what did Kiba even use it for?

"Whoa- it's been hours. The concert ended at like 9..."

"Naruto... Who are you calling?"

"Hmm?" The blond boy kept dialing the number.

"Who are you calling?"

"Iru-" Naruto stopped halfway through Iruka's name before gasping and shutting the phone even as a voice on the other end was answering. He couldn't give his friend up to the authorities, even to escape from a closet! Who knew what Tsunade might do to poor Kiba, who only had the thing in the first place so that he could call his family at night?

"Gaara! I'm really sorry but we can't use the phone! It's a long story and I can't tell you whose it is, but it's not mine."

"You already told me it was Kiba's."

"Huh? Uh- oh... Promise you won't tell anyone?" Naruto sounded somewhat panicked and extremely remorseful that without meaning to, he'd already let Kiba's secret out.

"Fine."

"C'mon, I know it's our ticket to freedom, but I can't- 'fine'?"

"A janitor is sure to come by in the morning to get cleaning supplies, we'll just have to sleep here tonight."

"Gaara!" Naruto shouted and hugged him after groping around in the dark a little to find him. "But- can we both fit?" Naruto asked in a calmer voice.

Gaara had a feeling that this was going to be a very long night.

**X X X X**

**Hmm... I thought more would happen in this chapter. ^ ^; But hey, relationships don't happen overnight... or do they? :P  
**

**Also- practically the entire thing is dialogue = good/bad?  
**


	5. The New Chapter 5

**Oh, the excitement X)  
**

**...Chapter Four :)  
**

**X X X X**

Chirrrup.

"Chirp! Chirp little crickits!" Jiraiya called out jovially as he strolled his way around the school's decorative pond. Unlike some teachers who could hardly get their noses out of admittedly fantastic books, he really didn't mind patroll duty.

"Graw, graw to you too, big old bull frogs." Jiraiya paused to lean over the edge for a better look at them. Frogs and toads had always been favourites of his- something his old buddy Tsunade had teased him about until he caught her playing with her pet slug. He chuckled to himself at the memory, Tsunade was just so fun to tease, and looked over the reeds and small shrubs to the large stone buildings behind them. It seemed hard to believe that he'd been reluctant to take this job- teaching math at a high school, as he could no longer imagine living anywhere else. Especially when he was on paid leave.

He'd never so much as met the woman, but he'd heard his substitute was doing well. It was a real win-win, he got a break from the more boring classes and Mrs. Bartleby got to teach at her dream school for a couple weeks. Besides, it'd been a while since he'd last released a novel. The only strange thing was that Tsunade hadn't made him come in despite faking sick- usually she yelled and questioned the legitimacy of his illness until he gave himself up, then yelled some more. _Hmm..._

Leaves crunched noisily under his feet as he continued up the path, thinking first about his academic duties but soon switching over to ideas for his latest plot- a sexy, less morbid version of the Sirens. It was going to be _awesome_.

**/POV/**

"Hah..."

Kakashi sighed for what felt like the hundredth time that evening and stared up at the tiled ceiling. Just a couple more reports to finish and he could go to sleep. Normally, if he was up this late it was for a much more interesting reason than this, but Tsunade had promised to withhold the month's pay if he didn't hand in his progress reports tomorrow. Then again, two weeks late _was_ pushing it, even for him.

_Who's next? Shino Aburame... 'Listens well in class' and, let's see... 'Enthusiastic about _The Lord of The Flies_'... Does that even count? It's not part of this year's curriculum. _Kakashi deliberated for a moment before deciding that it would be better not to risk it. Tsunade had explicitly told him that she'd be looking over every one and any corrections would be extra patroll duty. Kakashi sweat dropped as he glanced at the done stack on his desk, wondering where she found the time.

**/POV/**

"Left, left, left... right." Sasuke instructed in a voice hardly above a whisper. "No, no, your other right. How did you ever get past second grade?" He corrected sharply, already forgetting to be quiet. "Your _other _right!"

"How is this supposed to help exactly?" Kiba growled back. "If you're gonna be so damn picky, just give me the stupid map!" Sasuke's initial scariness had worn off and now he was just annoying as hell.

"I told you- it's my map and I'm going to hold it. It's because you're not listening."

Sasuke and Kiba were currently arguing in front of the school gates over which direction to start in. Kiba wanted to simply roam around the school while Sasuke held that they had to take the complicated route he'd planned out on the way there. However, being Sasuke, the black-haired boy was also forcing his companion to turn on the spot and practice hiding on short notice in preparation for the actual foray.

"Also, you should know that it's impolite to curse." Sasuke had a feeling Kiba had just sworn again at him under his breath but pretended not to hear. "If it's your dearest wish to be caught by a teacher and thrown out of school, then by all means, go your way. I'll follow the map and rescue Gaara. And Naruko."

"It's Naruto, geez."

Sasuke pretended again that Kiba hadn't spoken. "Then we're agreed?"

After some angry muttering, Kiba told him to shut up and lead the way since his opinion was apparently the only one that mattered. Sasuke nodded his head when Kiba had looked the other way, _that's right. _He might've said it out loud, but even in this company, his instincts told him to keep his boasts to himself.

**/POV/**

"Stop kicking me."

"Sorry, Gaara! Just- there's not a lot of floor..." Naruto murmured and turned over in the pitch blackness that was the cleaning supply closet. He didn't mean to kick his friend, but they were lying side by side on a very narrow strip of ground. Thankfully the blushing fit Naruto'd had when they'd first laid down had abated now and he was feeling more relaxed despite the close proximity.

"It's okay." Gaara didn't sound as perturbed as before either. 'Perturb'- that was another one. Iruka seemed to use an awful lot of weird words like perturbed and yearnful.

Naruto traced the outline of a bottle of bleach with his finger and had to hold in a gasp when he felt Gaara move against him.

"Maybe we should just try to sleep sitting up." Gaara suggested and Naruto nodded even though Gaara couldn't see him, not quite trusting himself to speak. He'd said enough awkward things for one evening. Naruto got up to slide to the back wall, thinking it would be the most comfortable spot, but knocked into Gaara instead. Right- he'd forgotten.

"... I know we can't see anything but I've been over here the entire time."

"Sorry! I- uh, forgot."

"Try the other end?"

"Yeah..." Naruto leaned his head hard against the door after sliding over, telling himself off for the memory slip.

"Are you tired?"

"Huh?" Naruto snapped out of his uncharacteristic mental tirade and looked up out of habit. "Oh- nah."

"Want to play a game?" A game? Was Gaara hinting at something? What kind of game?

"You mean like I-spy?" Naruto ventured uncertainly, the cogs in his brain working at top-speed.

"... I was thinking more of a word game." _Damn it brain! What did I say I-spy for? The only thing I can spy with my little eye is darkness! 'Your turn Naruto, okay I spy something dark, is it darkness, oh my god how did you know!' Stupid, stupid... _

Wait, Gaara was still waiting for an answer. "Okay, you go first."

**/POV/**

They might have been the only people in the whole entire school. The air was perfectly silent aside from the occasional scuttle of leaves and the gentle blow of the wind. Everyone sane was asleep, it seemed, and Kiba was beginning to regret kocking on Sasuke's door. Or meeting him at all for that matter. Was it really necessary, after all, to keep stopping every two seconds to check that the coast was clear? He swore they'd spent one minute actually walking and fifty just standing around waiting.

"Sasuke-" Kiba whispered. "C'mon, no one's coming."

The dark-haired boy didn't answer, didn't even turn to look at him, just waved his hand and started forward. _Pretentious prick. _

Kiba rolled his eyes and began to follow, accidentally stepping on a stray leaf which made a small crunch. Sasuke jumped and stood stock still for a few minutes while Kiba watched, hands relaxedly stored in his pockets.

"Just me, genius."

"If you're going to act like this-"

"Seriously- no one's around, you can stop freaking out."

Sasuke didn't speak but only narrowed his eyes at Kiba who stared up at the sky in exasperation.

"Okay, you know what? Why don't we just split up? We can cover more ground that way anyway."

"My sentiments exactly. You were nothing more than a hindrance anywa-" Sasuke suddenly stopped and paused as if he were listening intently and Kiba held back another eye-roll. Was this guy for real? But then Kiba heard it too: footsteps from the nature trail.

"Shit!" Kiba breathed. Not just from the nature trail either- more footsteps were approaching from the administrative building where all the teachers had their offices. _Double shit! _Sasuke motioned quickly to him and they ran for their lives. There was nowhere to take cover- the forest would be ideal but that route was already closed off. If they didn't get out of sight quickly someone would see them and what was worse, they'd just hit a dead end. Kiba saw Sasuke glance at him in panic. Mr. I-always-have-a-plan was out of ideas- this was bad. The footsteps were coming closer and seemed to have picked up speed- whoever it was must have heard them as there was no time to step around every noisy leaf when you were fleeing for your academic life.

Kiba quickly combed over their surroundings, wall, wall, garbage can- too small to hide even one person, though maybe that wasn't such a bad thing. Step, step. Bare brick wall, concert poster- no good. Step, step. Door! Door, door, door! "Sasuke!" He hissed and pointed at the concealed fire exit before ripping it open and running inside, his companion close beyond.

"Haahh." Kiba breathed in relief, leaning his weight against the corridor wall. Sasuke, however, still had his ear pressed against the door and still looked distraught. This guy really needed to relax, there was no way anyone had seen them go in. But then Kiba realized why when he heard the voices directly outside the door. Jiraiya and Kakashi! What the hell was the English teacher doing here anyway? Only one person was assigned to patroll duty per night and shifts were supposed to end at midnight. Kiba didn't bother checking his watch again but he knew it was already well past 1 am.

Sasuke hit his shoulder and Kiba looked up to see the boy motion again for him to follow. This whole leader-follower deal was getting real old real fast, but as the time to tell off dark-haired pricks was not when teachers were approaching to put you in detention for the rest of your school-life, Kiba bit his tongue and took off behind him. Or he began to- some sort of commotiopn was coming from the corner Sasuke had just disappeared around. Kiba could hear other voices and slowed to a walk as second thoughts about charging in flitted across his mind. He hadn't been seen yet- should he just turn around and pretend like he had some reason to be out this late? But whoever it was, they didn't sound old enough to be adults, whereas the Math and English teachers in hot pursuit definitely were. So Kiba braced himself and for the last time that evening, blindly followed the annoying bastard who was his temporary comrade.

The same companion who was currently yelling something excitedly. "You must be Naruko! Gaara, we've come to rescue you. Gaara?"

Naruto? He found Naruto? The first thing Kiba saw was his blond pal sprawled out on the ground, doing his familiar head rub.

"We're free!" He giggled.

"Naruto!" Kiba shouted and hugged his friend.

Some red haired boy Kiba assumed to be Gaara stepped out of an open doorway. Was that a supplies closet? They weren't hanging out in_ there_ were they? Neither he nor Sasuke had thought to check inside the school. _I mean, there are video cameras._ Uh oh... He'd forgotten about those. Kiba brushed this thought away for the time being. They probably never even checked the tape.

"We're free!"

"Naruto ya big idiot, what was so important you had to risk detention?" Hold on, detention- the teachers! When had his memory gotten so terrible?

"Who cares! Gaara we're free!" Naruto exclaimed gleefully, grinning up at the red-head. Come on, was no one else concerned that they were about to be caught? Kiba thought he might already hear Jiraiya.

"Quick, get back in! Get in, get in!" Kiba whispered urgently and tried to push everyone back into the closet, looking worriedly over his shoulder to check that the coast was still clear.

"Huh? No- Kiba, we're free!"

"Shut up and move, we have company!"

"Huh?" Naruto said again, his grin fading as he apparently heard the old man too. "Oh..."

Sasuke, who was a bit quicker on the uptake, grabbed Naruto by the collar and dragged him back into the closet. There didn't seem to be a lot of room... A handle was jammed into Kiba's back and he could smell someone's sour breath.

"How did you find us and open the door so easily when it was locked?" The red haired boy spoke for the first time, though Kiba couldn't tell from where.

"Whaddya mean locked? Why were even in there in the first place?" Kiba asked. He might've scratched his head had he been able to move his arms.

"We think someone pushed us!"

"Someone _did_ push us."

"Yeah, see? Oh my god, I'm so glad you guys found us- we thought we'd have to sleep on the flo-"

"Shh!" Someone pretentious and probably a stupid perfectionist interrupted. "Do you want them to catch us? Is that your childhood dream or some such thing?" Sasuke barked back in a rather loud voice for someone who was supposed to be hiding.

Naruto was so happy that he didn't even mind how rude this guy was being and was about to tell him so when they all heard Jiraiya speak nearby. The four fugitives held their breath as the math teacher chuckled and said something that sounded like "Hose bidz!" by the muffling effect of the door. Kiba's stomach dropped. They knew. The next thing the fugitives heard was also muffled but the message came across loud and clear:

"Do we need to come in there and get you or will you give yourselves up quietly?"

**X X X X **

**Real helpful guys. Real helpful.**

**Actually, I don't really like this chapter, it kind of sucks. :/  
**


	6. Totally Chapter 6

**I forgot to change 'chapter four' to 'chapter _five_' last time. - -; **

**...Chapter six :)  
**

**X X X X**

Tsunade stared down at Naruto in silence, her arms crossed in anger. The nerve of those little troublemakers! Kiba, she knew had been bad news form the start, but Sasuke too? When had her uptight little class president gone so rotten as to _deliberately_ try and unravel his gracious principal's carefully laid out plans? Huh? Where did he get off! Tsunade closed her eyes to calm herself and after a few seconds, opened them again to see a confused-looking Naruto grinning at her weakly.

"Sor-"

"No talking." Naruto closed his mouth and went back to staring at her, the same as they'd been doing for the past ten minutes.

And to think she'd been about to set him up as Naruto's second friend! Well he wouldn't have much time to corrupt her little orphan now, what with all that eraser cleaning he'd be doing. Archaic indeed. He could talk with Kiba while the other boy waxed her floors. The ruffian was quite good at it, actually, after being made to do the same punishment on three separate occasions, though to witness such a lost cause almost made Tsunade sad. It was imperative that he not be allowed to drag Naruto down the same path! Iruka hardly ever reported wrong-doings and she planned to keep it that way. _Good old Iruka_, Tsunade thought smiling. A quiet, administrative personality, coupled with her own 'tough-love' was the ideal at-home environment for fostering a disciplined, well-adjusted, charming child. Exactly.

She saw the crease between Naruto's eyebrows increase and quickly frowned, not wanting him to get the wrong idea. As far as he knew, some other student had accidentally pushed he and Gaara into the supplies closet connecting the gym and a corridor, which then accidentally locked. She hadn't counted on Joe, the one-eyed janitor leaving the key in the lock, nor two little scallywags 'concerned' about their friends' well being... Tsunade stopped herself before she could get angry again. It was too bad tardy Kakashi and lecherous Jiraiya hadn't found them _before_ they had ruined her plot. The forced sleepover had turned out as terribly as the free movie tickets, Kiba, and now probably Sasuke, were even closer to Naruto while he and Gaara hadn't so much as slept together! _Actually, _she paused_, that might sound strange, should it be taken out of context. Oh who cares, no one can hear my thoughts... _Could they? Tsunade quickly focused on him but Naruto looked the same as ever. She relaxed again, _of course not._

Things continued in much the same way for another ten minutes, when Tsunade realized she would miss Oprah if she didn't get these sessions over with soon. She'd already gone through the trouble-makers but Gaara was still waiting on one of the soft red chairs outside.

"Okay, you may go. Send in the next one." She said in a carefully patient tone. Naruto still looked confused- probably because she hadn't yelled at him. She'd been too wrapped up in her own thoughts even to scold him much after he first walked in.

After a few minutes which impudently dragged on, the youngest Sabaku walked in. Naruto must have confided in him about how his own session had gone because the red-head looked like he wasn't sure what to expect. Yes, that sounded like solid reasoning. It also meant plan FS hadn't been a complete failure after all! Tsunade nodded her head.

"Okay, you can go." Gaara looked uncertain but left anyway, to Tsunade's relief. Her office to herself, Konoha Secondary's principal pulled out a miniature tv from underneath her desk and turned it on. _How to detect and avoid exotic tropical illnesses... __That's more like it, no more of this claustrophobia nonsense._

Shizune watched the tv. come out from where she was filing student records and sighed, as she thought she'd found and confiscated them all already._  
_

**/POV/**

Sasuke was upset. No, he was devastated. Why oh why had he ever let that ridiculous Kiba talk him into jaunting around the school after curfew? Not only was his presumably flawless reputation with the principal ruined, but soon he would have to endure the public humility of clapping erasers. What would people think? What would_ Neji _think? Sasuke paled at the thought of his respectable friend finding out about his fraternization with the lower mental class. They had unspoken rules!

But then... at least Gaara was safe. Maybe it was a good thing Sasuke had rescued him from the closet- _who knows what could've happened had he been left there all night with that Naruko fellow?_ He and Gaara were friendlier with each other too, Sasuke even going so far as to remove the border tape. It was silly to begin with- why shouldn't roommates be allowed to cross to the other side of their own room? Read each other's books, open each other's drawers... normal things.

Sasuke turned the corner, not realizing in his preoccupation that he had come full circle back to the principal's office, _Besides, I'm certain Gaara would do the same had I been the one with a mysteriously locked draw- _where this time he was the one who promptly slammed into Naruto. The blond boy fell back in shock with a small oomf.

"Hey! Someone could get hurt..." Naruto trailed off, apparently having made some sort of profound realization.

"My apologies Naruko, I'm afraid I rather forgot myself." Sasuke told him stiffly, his mind still busy making justifications.

Naruto's face brightened with a second realization. "S'ok, we're even now, right?" He grinned and pushed himself up from the floor. "I think we got off on the wrong foot before; I'm Naruto." Said blond held out his hand to shake and Sasuke took it absently.

"Sasuke. Sorry, I'm in a bit of a hurry."

"Oh... Well, you wanna hang out with me an' Gaara sometime? We were all gonna watch this really awesome movie."

"I'm really very busy."

"Aw c'mon, you can't watch one movie?"

"Like I said, I'm very busy."

"You haven't seen it though, I bet, and it's so cool! See, it's about these people who get shipwrecked on this island but then they find another boat, only the wish they hadn't found it cause it turns out it's haunted or something. You gotta come! Gaara's brother and sister are even coming."

"I have a lot of work to catch up on."

"C'mooo-"

"Yes, well I will speak to you later I'm sure." Sasuke said distractedly.

"Yeah? Was that a yes?" Naruto asked the back of Sasuke's head as the dark haired boy headed back in the same direction he came. He didn't receive an answer.

**/POV/**

"Wow Neji, that's so pretty!" Tenten gushed, gazing over the boy's shoulder at his math homework.

"What do you mean?" Neji asked in a slightly puzzled tone that did not betray the extreme annoyance he was currently fighting off. Girls with obvious crushes whom you did not like back, he found, did not make the most interesting companions. Or the most bearable, for that matter.

Tenten giggled and shrugged her shoulders in what she probably thought was a cute way. "I don't know, your writing. It's so neat and pretty." She giggled again and Neji desparately wished Sasuke were there to talk to instead.

"I can't say I necessarily agree, but thank you." He said politely, meaning 'please leave me alone'. Tenten did not seem to understand, however, as she sat down in the chair next to him and kept trying to make conversation.

"Seriously, I mean it, you're really good." Neji had to consciously stop himself from leaning away. This girl had no concept of personal space by the look of things. Where the hell was Sakura? She usually kept Tenten reasonably occupied whenever he had the displeasure of studying with them. She hadn't even brought a book- who sits down at a library with nothing to read, Neji asked himself. _Who? _

**/POV/**

"Hey, Gaara!" Naruto tried and failed to whisper. The red haired boy looked up from the economics book he was reading to see his friend grinning down at him.

"Whatcha readin'?" Someone shushed him but he didn't seem to hear them. Gaara let him read the cover rather than speak in the generally quiet atmosphere. Aside from a couple cozily studying math at a nearby table and an angry librarian, they were the only patrons.

"Ah, cool." Naruto said after audibly muttering the title. "Is there another one?" Gaara noticed that he hadn't taken anything from the shelves and shook his head in answer. "Hmm..." Naruto frowned and looked around. "Oh well." He leaned back, arms loosely folded behind his head and watched Gaara read instead.

It had felt exceedingly odd at first but Gaara had gotten used to it- Naruto may have occasionally frequented the library since they'd become friends, but he rarely actually read while there, despite _Konoha Secondary_'s ample selection of novels and non-fiction.

"Hey..." Naruto half-whispered. Gaara looked at him and Naruto cocked his head toward the couple, grinning. They were getting closer and closer, the librarian too busying frowning in Naruto's general direction to stop them. Gaara nodded at his friend, wondering how long he was supposed to watch them. After a couple seconds he lifted his book again, though he still saw the pink-haired girl approach them curiously, anxiously waved over by the boy and had time to think it strange that he would welcome an interruption.

**/POV/**

Danzo peered over the tops of his steepled fingers at the open window behind his desk. His tiny, puny little desk in the middle of everyone else's, its sole uplifting quality that it was at least partially against a wall. To think of those pathetic teachers who called themselves his colleagues walking past on all sides while he worked was almost too much to bear. Danzo sighed silently, careful not to attract the attention of the new substitute whose desk was practically _right next to his own_. How could Tsunade in all her foolishness have given a _sub_ that spot? Danzo grimaced with distaste. Had she no concept of seniority? The woman was maddening!

This was no way to run a school. He'd known it from his first day when the eye-patched man had come in late and received hardly so much as a rebuke. He'd assured himself that the principal had merely been restraining herself in his distinguished prescence (a highly advanced degree and several excellent references), but the next day and every day after that was the same. The only thing that changed was by how much that lazy English teacher was late by and when Danzo brought the matter to light in a staff meeting he was laughed off. Him! Laughed off! And just look at all the other weirdos she hires, Danzo thought, glancing surreptitiously at Mrs. Bartleby who looked rather like a bookish man. That wasn't even counting that Jiraiya, who still lived at the school despite being on paid leave for some imaginary sickness, who used the _school computers_ to write his morally repugnant stories.

Then there was the students. His very first class he'd had the displeasure of meeting the student who would become the bane of his existence: Naruto Uzumaki. If this job didn't pay so well he would have been on the first train back a week after arriving. No matter how many times or how loudly he yelled, no matter how often he sent the boy to the principal's office, he continued to talk during class! No respect, none. Was he expelled? No. Was he given harsh physical punishments? Danzo wished. Was he even removed from Biology after numerous anonymous complaints to the principal? Of course not! Oh, Danzo groaned to himself, why did he put himself through such awful circumstances? He could've been a public school principal!

A principal... Why wasn't he the principal? He _should_ be principal. He had the credentials! If only the school board could see past their eccentric little favourite to the obvious choice standing in her shadow? Perhaps he ought to enlighten them about her newest hobby of not only endorsing movie-watching but actually giving students free movie tickets? If she didn't want it to be public knowledge she should have checked the area more carefully before gabbing to staff in the teahers' office room. He'd been exceedingly disappointed in Iruka for accepting them at first, but then how could the man not comply when his superior explicitly asked something of him? It was all Tsunade's fault.

Now if he were principal... It started in his throat as a small chuckle but slowly grew into a genuine evil cackle until he remembered that the masculine Mrs. Bartleby was still beside him. Danzo coughed in a weak explanation and turned back to his papers.

**X X X X**

**Did anybody get Naruto's 'profound realization' back there? First chapter Iruka scolded him for running in the halls because people could get hurt? No? ^ ^;**

**Exams are finally finished! :D  
**


	7. Chapter Seven

**Has it really been a month since I started this? :D **

**Actually no, it hasn't. ^^; I think I put chapter one up on January 12th or something... But that's nearly a month anyway.  
**

**...Chapter seven :)  
**

**X X X X**

"Naruto, we already watched that movie." Gaara told his friend briefly over the economic book from the library. It had been more interesting than he'd expected so he'd brought it back to his room to finish, not expecting Naruto to follow him, nor his siblings to catch sight of them and tag along. He really wouldn't mind reading alone sometimes...

"What? Are you sure?"

"Yeah, remember, before the concert?" Kankuro chimed in. "You silly goof."

"Ah!" Naruto laughed, "You're right. Wow, I totally forgot." He pretended to hit himself on the forehead.

"It's okay, it was a good movie." Temari told him soothingly while Kankuro rolled his eyes behind her back, remembering how she'd snooped around Naruto's belongings, checking that he wasn't into drugs or had some weird fetish. He'd almost got her too, when he thought he heard someone rustling in the bushes outside. They'd all had a good laugh about that- who would possibly want to spy on them?

"Argh, I even asked Sasuke to watch it with us. He'll feel so left out!"

"So watch something else." Kankuro grunted as he flopped down on the bed beside Gaara.

"I already told him the whole plot, he'll know something's up! In detail!"

"Chill man, there's no way this Sasuke dude's so uptight he'd get upset over something stupid like that." Kankuro continued, causing Gaara to wonder if he would. It wasn't like the Uchiha to be lackadaisical about anything.

"I don't know..." Naruto was clearly having the same thoughts as Gaara. "You know what, let's just all watch a movie as soon as he gets back." The blond boy grinned around at them, pleased with his genius. Gaara suddenly felt nervous about having so many people over. Even if relations were friendlier between them, Sasuke still insisted on them following that stupid list.

"Only if I can sleep here." Kankuro's voice came out muffled, his face against the mattress.

"Oh, get up you great lump- if you're going to be so tired all day, stop staying up all night sewing dresses for your dolls." Would the Uchiha insist on everyone leaving? _Well,_ Gaara considered,_ it could be worse_.

"Yeah, you're so mature Temari," Kankuro turned his head to reply sarcastically. "You know, you're just like an adult, no imagination, no tolerance for anything you don't like. Why don't you just run for prime minister and get it over with?"

"Temari smacked his head lightly, "But you do need more sleep."

"I'll sleep all day after I finish Elizabetha. I won't go to class, I'll just stay in bed in a coma if you'd like."

"You name them?" Temari asked, arching an eyebrow.

"... What? You name your stuffed animals!"

"..." Her eyebrow was still raised.

"What?"

"Nothing."

"No, what?"

Gaara decided to step in before Temari told Kankuro she thought it was a girly thing to do, "What movie should we watch?"

"That's the spirit, Gaara!" Naruto cheered from the computer where he was already surfing for options. "How about Pan's Labyrinth? I hear it's got elves or fairies or something, probably a comedy."

Kankuro just shrugged and continued to look questioningly at Temari, who had begun tidying Gaara's bookcase. "Yeah, sounds fun. Gaara, what are the numbers on the spines for?" She asked, tracing her finger along Толсто́й's name. Why not just order them alphabetically? Or by subject? Surely such an elaborate numbering system, as she assumed it to be, was unnecessary?

"Hmm?"

"Here, written on the tape." Gaara hmmed again, engrossed in a crucial section about collaborative ownership.

"You guys wanna watch it now?" Naruto asked, swiveling around to face them. Kankuro sat up sluggishly to remind him that the whole point of watching it was to placate the Uchiha. "Oh, yeah, of course." Naruto said confidently, but kept glancing at the screen, eager to get started. _Hurry up and get back Sasuke!_

**/POV/**

_Hurry up and save me Sasuke!_ Neji begged in silence, brushing a stray strand of hair behind his ear to yet another chorus of giggles. Sakura had been no help whatsoever. Instead of diverting Tenten's attention, she was aiding and abetting her in disturbing him. Did they really think they were being subtle when they nudged each other and inundated their speech with stupid flattery? Because it was painfully obvious to him with Sakura's knowing comments of 'don't you two look cozy' and Tenten's faithful reply, 'shut up! we're just studying'.

It was no wonder the librarian had kicked them out. However much Neji wished he were still surrounded by books instead of bleachers, dirt and leaves, he fully agreed with everything she'd said in that sharp voice of hers. They were 'making a racket' while other students, theoretically as there hadn't actually been any, were trying to work. He had considered telling her that _he_ hadn't done anything wrong, but held his tongue in the name of politeness.

So now Neji had to contend with the shouts of soccer players practicing their pointless game on top of Sakura and Tenten's annoying chatter.

"Ooh, look he got it in!" Sakura squealed with delight as the goalie barely missed blocking a player's kick. Tenten cheered with her but Neji, deep in thought, did not even pretend to be interested. Why did he associate with these people? Was he so desperate to avoid being thought of as a loner? So many things he did, he did just so that other people would respect him: studying for tests, being on student council, maintaining friendships with many people that he didn't even like. It was madness!

"Hehe, poor guy." Sakura giggled.

"Aw, don't laugh, that looked like it hurt." Tenten, covering her mouth with her hand, giggled back.

_Madness..._

"Neji you're so polite!"

_Madne-_ "I beg your pardon?" Neji snapped out of his disappointment to see Tenten smiling at him.

"The guy in the net is so awful- missing all those easy shots, and then falling over after getting hit like that, and you're not even laughing. You're stronger than we are." She demonstrated by giggling some more.

_Madness!_

**/POV/**

"Fantastic form, Lee, great energy." Guy called with enthusiasm while his favourite student jumped up and down, pumping the air with his fist. Someone high-fived him and the goalie shrugged his shoulders absymally. "Great energy." He said again, more to himself than to anyone else. Lee had come to _Konoha Secondary_ by his own hard hard on a sports scholarship and Guy knew he had a soft spot for the boy. "Okay, new formation!" The other boys on the field began to organize themselves in preparation for the next round.

"Coach, dude! Please let me play, she'll never know!" An agonized-looking Kiba yelled from the stands.

"Ha ha! I like your enthusiasm Kiba, but rules are rules." Guy flashed him a thumbs-up in consolation. The kid was their star goalie and it saddened him to see such talent go to waste, particularly when the back-up wasn't quite at his level, but Tsunade was so passionate about bannings, so adamant that Kiba sit out, that Guy couldn't bear to break his promise. "Curfew may seem strict now, but it's for your own protection! Ha ha!" Guy laughed heartily to show Kiba that he should cheer up and that waiting out his punishment patiently wasn't so bad.

The replacement let in four more goals and Guy blew his whistle. "Good try, Suigetsu! You'll get one next time!" An audible groan came from the stands but Guy didn't have time to cheer Kiba up right now. "Switch it up guys!" Now he had time. "Ha ha, Kiba! Two weeks'll be over in no time!"

"Naruto, you take centre forward, Joe, you're on home defense, Billy, we're gonna switch it up some more and try having you on-"

"Coach, Naruto ain't here, can I take centre forward instead?" Joe asked hopefully. He was always on home defense.

"Naruto isn't here?" Guy's dazzling smile grew dimmer as he surveyed the field and found that Naruto was indeed absent. _That's strange, he's never missed a practice before..._ "Okay, Billy, you take centre forward! Have fun out there guys!" Joe kicked the grass miserably and Kiba raised his head in concern. "Ha ha! Don't worry Kiba, he'll catch up on thursday." It was good to see teammates worried about teammates- too much of sports focused on competition. He hardly ever let _his_ team compete in tournaments, it just wasn't good for self-esteem. "Good kick Billy! Just a little crooked."

**/POV/**

Sasuke sneezed into his handkerchief with a grimace and hoped he wasn't coming down with a cold. Tightening the scarf around his neck and bowing his head against the evening wind, Sasuke continued to make his way through the maze of trees which surrounded the nature trail. He had first gone there for the sake of walking and clearing his head from the strange mixture of thoughts about his roommate and his roommate's blond friend and ended up staying longer than expected. It had been a mild shock to discover he'd been hiking for over an hour when he still hadn't figured out why he was feeling so confused. It had been a much more unpleasant shock to realize he wasn't entirely sure how to get back- the trail had so many twists and forks and he hadn't been paying much attention to which paths he'd taken.

"Tch." Sasuke frowned beneath his scarf, pausing at yet another intersection. Which way had he come from and where did the second path lead? Sasuke began to worry that he wouldn't make it back before nightfall, fears of sleeping on the dirty ground along or being attacked by a rabid bear, despite the school's assurance that none lived in the trail began to creep up. Why did _Konoha Secondary_ even _need _such an extensive nature trail? What was the point!

Sasuke huffed and chose one at random. The best thing to do was to just keep on walking. He was sure to make it out soon- it wasn't like he was really in the middle of nowhere... It just felt that way. To distract himself, he tried to concentrate on the sound of leaves crunching under his feet. Crunch, crunch, step, step, crunch- wait a second, those weren't his footsteps. _Oh god!_ He was being followed by a serial killer that lived in the woods, barely surviving on scarce diet of poisonous mushrooms, because he couldn't bear to let anyone see his hideously scarred face! The psycho would probably skin him alive and add him to some awful stew! _Oh god!_

Heart beating wildly in his chest, Sasuke ran as fast as he could on shaking legs down the path, then realized too late that, in his panic, he'd actually been running _towards_ the stranger. Sasuke stopped in paralyzed shock and just stared in horror at the older man in glasses casually approaching him. His white blond hair and flashing glasses (and was that _lipstick?_) made him look like the maniacal scientist from a children's show Sasuke used to watch and which had always scared him.

"Hello there, friend." The man said and it was all Sasuke could do to keep from screaming. "What's a student doing out in the woods at this hour? Better hurry back before that principal gives you detention." The man winked.

"Uh... Uh..."

"Sasuke Uchiha?" _Oh god! _The serial killer knew his name.

"Huh!"

"I recognize you from my math class." The man chuckled. "Sasuke Uchiha..."

Wait, they didn't let serial killers be teachers, did they? But Math class was taught by...

"... Mrs. Bartleby?" A woman.

"Please, call me Kabuto. Mrs. Bartleby sounds so formal."

"But..." Sasuke didn't feel afraid any more, just very, very confused and weirded out. "_Mrs._ Bartleby?"

"Kabuto."

Was this person as sensitive about his age as Tsunade? Sasuke tried again, "_Ms._ Bartleby?"

"Kabuto- it's my first name." He said again with somewhat of a strained smile.

"Uh, I have a lot of homework to do..."

"Oh by all means, but you may want to go the other way- it's much faster." Kabuto nodded at Sasuke, who stammered out a reply that he liked walking, and continued on his way.

_Well then. There really are all kinds of people in the world,_ Sasuke supposed as he stumbled along protruding roots and rough terrain for an extra 20 minutes.

**/POV/**

Naruto gasped and fought back the tears he could feel building behind his eyes. It was so sad! If this was supposed to be a comedy as that internet commenter had written, it was the worst he'd ever seen. That poor little girl, living in fascist Italy, shot by her own father!

"Aww, you want a tissue?" Temari offered him the box sympathetically. Naruto tightened his jaw and shook his head in answer. _Stay calm! Be strong! It's only a movie._

"Just take the tissue man, we're not going to make fun of you if you cry." Kankuro said from his spot on the bed, his own voice somewhat shaky.

Trying to save her little brother, such a miserable life, but she's really a princess, there's hope! _Oh god,_ Naruto thought as the first tear rolled down his cheek. He brushed it off roughly on his sleeve and tried to pretend not to care that the little girl's body was slowly going cold, the servant who'd been a member of the rebel faction holding her hand. So many people were dying! Maybe it was a good thing they hadn't waited for Sasuke- Naruto didn't like the idea of not crying like this in front of him.

Temari unobstrusively left the box beside him and leaned back against the bed frame. The credits began to roll to a haunting tune. So haunting, Naruto thought, why did they have to make it so haunting?

"Right! Well, that was a good movie." He tried to sound cheerful but could tell the Sabakus weren't buying it. "I guess you guys gotta go soon, eh? Curfew's in like 15 minutes." Naruto sniffed.

"We can stay a little longer." Temari told him, getting up to pat his shoulder comfortingly. Naruto wished she wouldn't because he definitely was _not_ crying over a movie.

"I don't mean to interrupt, but this is my room." Gaara intoned. He didn't seem to be much affected but Naruto suspected Pan's Labyrinth also made him sad. Wait, what did he say? Crap! Now Naruto would have to walk all through the halls back to his own room and then explain to Kiba why his eyes were red from not crying.

"Yeah, we can stay a little longer." He said finally.

**X X X X**

**Aww, reviewers so sweet ^ ^**

**... Did you guys get the whole sneeze-when-people-are thinking-of-you reference? I hope so ^ ^;**


	8. Chapter 8tuhtuhtuh

**Nuh uh, it's a good movie. :/**

**...Chapter eight :)  
**

**X X X X**

Kakashi watched with vague curiousity as Danzo circled their communal office, the same look of deep concentration furrowed into his brow, for the umpteenth time. He did not care unduly, the older man had always been intense in strange ways- particularly with regards to Naruto. Everyone knew that he had been the one to make all those anonymous complaints, he'd never made much of an effort to hide his dislike after all, but no one wanted to upset him by letting him know. Poor guy probably had fifty cats in his apartment who were his only friends- God knew none of the other staff spoke with him and Kakashi occasionally saw stacks of empty bags of cat food in the dumpsters behind the school. Of course pets were forbidden in case of allergies, but the school board had never had much luck enforcing the rule with regards to Shizune's pet pig. Oh yes. They all knew about that too.

So instead of asking Danzo why he didn't try the track instead, Kakashi stared down at the transcript he was supposed to be filing. Really it was Tsunade's job, but she often, if erratically, paid him back for looking the other way when he walked into class a few minutes late. He simply felt there to be little importance in rushing through the halls, something Iruka was adamant about being more or less the root of all evil, to verbally order his students to get started. They knew the drill: silent reading until he told them to either stop and listen, or stop and write something. If someone had a problem with his teaching or grading methods, a certain Uchiha came to mind, it was their own loss. Kakashi sweatdropped, on second thought, he rather hoped that this Karin wouldn't be another one writing excessively long essays on the merits of punctuality. They weren't very fun to mark.

"Mr. Kakashi, I don't mean to interrupt, but may I have a word?" Iruka's voice suddenly came from his right. Well well, he may just have some fun after all.

'Ah- Mr. Rukia. No, go ahead." Kakashi answered with a straight face. Iruka looked as if he might correct him but apparently the desire to be polite triumphed in the internal struggle.

"Good, yes. Well, Ms. Tsunade has asked me to retrieve Karin Hebi's papers for her. Have you finished with them?"

"Why my dear Mr. Ikku, it's hardly been a day."

"Ah-" Iruka paused for a long moment. "I was told that you received them last Wednesday."

"Did I?" Kakashi pretended to think about it. "No, I don't think so."

"Regardless, it would be nice if you could finish them up quickly. Shall I come back in an hour?"

Kakashi frowned. "An hour? They're rather extensive..."

"Two hours?" Iruka suggested hopefully.

"No, no, I'm afraid it will take much longer than that. There are all sorts of intricate details to take care of. You understand, don't you Mr. Rain?" Iruka looked disappointedly at the clock above the door while Kakashi held Karin's mostly completed transcript, careful to keep an amused grin from breaking out across his face.

"I suppose I could come back for it after lunch." The polite man said uncertainly.

"Hmm..."

**/POV/**

"You do realize that this a library, don't you?" Sasuke asked, annoyed by Naruto's loud yawning.

The blond boy turned towards him, still rubbing his eyes. "Yeah? What?"

"A place of great literature and books."

"..."

"A place of plentiful resources. Like books." When Naruto still didn't show any recognition, he said more emphatically, "For _reading_ those books."

"Uh, yeah. I know."

"Then why do you insist on sitting there doing nothing!" Sasuke didn't realize how loud his voice had gotten until the already grouchy librarian shushed him. She hadn't yet adjusted to what seemed to her an epidemic of obnoxiousness in sacred, quiet places.

"Well I dunno what you're doing but I'm studying." Naruto retorted somewhat indignantly.

"From what!"

"Shh!" The librarian whose name none of them knew hissed again.

"My brain. Some of us take time to think over what people said in class." Naruto said as softly as he could.

"What brain? You already do most of the talking in class." Sasuke whispered back.

"Eh? What's your problem, anyhow? You're always trying to pick a fight with me!" Naruto switched to yelling as softly as he could.

"Oh don't flatter yourself Naruko, when you clearly are the one who loves to provoke me." Sasuke turned his head and crossed his arms in what Naruto could only describe as a haughty way.

"And another thing- why do you always say my name wrong? Aren't you supposed to be smart?"

"A grade school insult? Aren't you supposed to be 17?"

"For heaven's sake boys!" A loud thump announced that the librarian had stowed a heavy book on her trolley hard in frustration. "Out!"

Gaara sighed in defeat. This happened every time his friends found him in whatever hidden nook he hid himself, which, despite the cavernous size of the library itself, was often. He wouldn't be surprised if all three of them were eventually banned for life.

"I hope you know this is your fault." Sasuke quietly told Naruto, who stuck out his tongue in answer, before following the librarian's outstreched finger toward the doors.

**/POV/  
**

_Stupid Sasuke,_ Naruto thought angrily. That guy riled him up to no end! Riled- more calmly, Naruto recalled how Iruka had used that word this morning and for a few minutes wondered if he'd ever heard it used in any other context. _But anyway, back to Sasuke!_ He'd never met anyone who could get under his skin so easily. It seemed like every time he and Gaara were hanging out in the book place, Mr. Arrogant had to be there too. What difference did it make to him if Naruto actually read or not? It was none of his business.

Plus, Naruto actually _had_ been trying to remember the quadratic formula. There was definitely a 'b' and an 'a' in there somewhere... Probably a '2' as well... Or was it a '3'?

The point was Naruto had been studying.

"Hey!" _No, it was definitely a '2'..._ "Hey, wait up!" Naruto stopped in what he had assumed to be an empty hall, looking around himself for Kiba. That had been his friend's voice, hadn't it? "Naruto," Kiba huffed, emerging from an open doorway. "I've been looking for you!"

"Kiba!" Naruto smiled, partly in relief that he hadn't been hearing things.

"Man, what's up? How come you skipped out on practice? I hardly ever see you any more, are avoiding me or something?" Kiba looked hurt and Naruto felt a stab of guilt. It was true that he was hanging out with Gaara more often, but he hadn't meant to leave out his other friends. And had he really missed practice?

"I missed practice?" _Oh no, last Tuesday!_ He'd completely forgotten about it.

"You didn't even know? Man, you missed it flat out. Next one's this Thursday. You'll be there, right?"

"Definitely! Don't worry about it, Pan's Labyrinth sucked anyway."

"Huh?"

**/POV/**

_Stupid Naruto_, Sasuke huffed. It had been a while since they'd all been kicked out of the library but however much Sasuke tried to ignore it and focus on hemoglobin in red blood cells, that damned blond's voice kept popping up in his head. _Pick a fight with _him_, yeah right._ What a loser.

Neji looked up from his textbook so Sasuke stopped glaring at the page and tried to read it. _Iron-containing oxygen-transport metalloprotein in the... supposed to be smart, he _was_ smart, smarter than Naruko. And what was that about getting the boy's name wrong?_ Sasuke was almost certain his little ruffian friend had called him Naruko.

"Have you seen Itachi lately?" Neji asked, noticing that his friend was not absorbed in his reading.

Naruko or Nakuto, possibly Narulo but he was pretty sure- _Huh? Oh._ "You know, it's strange, I haven't." Sasuke frowned down at a diagram showing the concave shape of erythrocytes. "It's normal for him to be busy but he hasn't been coming to lunch- or not that I've seen, at any rate."

"I saw him in the halls the other day but he seemed too distracted to reply."

"Perhaps he has another violin recital approaching?"

"Ms. Tsunade has never failed to include such student achievements in the morning announcements."

"It isn't necessarily a recital- we're due for another assembly soon, Itachi could be practicing for a school performance."

"Yes, you're right, I'm sure I was simply overthinking the situation." Neji closed his book, choosing his words carefully. "But you never did tell me where it is that _you've_ been hiding this past week."

Sasuke looked up, surprised. "Hiding? What do you mean?"

"I've hardly seen you." Neji replied and Sasuke realized that he was right. Most every day after school he'd been going straight to meet Gaara in the library, leaving his other friend to fend for himselves with the jackals. He had to get there early to catch where his roommate was going to sit.

"Neji! Are you alright?"

The long haired boy seemed to understand implicitly what he meant. "I'm... fine. I came near to snapping but managed to hold my tongue."

"I'm sorry- I was so caught up that I forgot the grave petty annoyances that you still had to deal with!" Sasuke hung his head guiltily, thinking of how they had saved each other from spending too much time with Tenten, Sakura and Ino in the past.

Neji patted his back reassuringly, "It's alright, I'm sure it was important."

"Neji," Sasuke said, raising his head, "meet me here right after school tomorrow."

**/POV/**

"Your drink, Sir."

The dark figure hidden in the highbacked chair reached out one long fingered hand to take the glass delicately by its neck. The crackling of the fireplace sent dark, ghostly shadows flickering across the rough walls of the cabin which the two men occupied.

"Integration is progressing smoothly." Kabuto continued, glasses flashing. "Tsunade suspects nothing and Target I. has already been taken in. Contact has been made with Target S." An owl hooted outside the window as he waited for some sign that the man in the chair had heard.

"Excellent," came a low slithery voice. The thin lips which had made it curled up into a sort of smile that did not reach the man's coal-black eyes.

Kabuto bowed low and retreated out of the room to continue his research. It wouldn't be long now.

**X X X X **

**Oooh... The real villains appear...**

**Short chapter, but moving on... :)  
**


	9. And in this corner, Chapter 9

**If I knew how to go back and fix typos, certain passages might get a lot less funny. 'Lee got to _Konoha Secondary_ on his own hard hard'? I had been thinking more 'his own hard work'...  
**

**...Chapter nine :)  
**

**X X X X**

"Is that lace?"

"It's for Elizabetha's dress."

"..."

"What? Why are you looking at me like that!" Kankuro asked crossly, stuffing the ribbons he'd gotten from the art room back into his pants pocket. Temari shrugged her shoulders and shook her head.

"Nothing, I suppose, but I think I liked your boy puppet better."

"Since when? You said you hated Raoul."

"I never said 'hated', I said it was creepy."

Kankuro crossed his arms defensively. "You said his crippled leer would give small children nightmares, that more or less qualifies as 'hate'."

"Well I think you need to review your English because you're mixing up definitions." Temari replied indifferently, looking at the deck of cards she was shuffling. "Besides, anything can give small children nightmares."

"You said his shrunken, malformed limbs and spidery claws would better fit a mutant crab than a small boy." Kankuro continued, still painfully reliving the memory of how she had disdained his first wooden puppet, cruelly tearing it apart with her hurtful words.

Temari hmmed noncommittally and dealt out five cards each to herself, her brothers, Gaara's roommate and the girlish boy whom she now knew was called Neji.

"- and that the awful, clashing colours on his outfit reminded you of evil, cannabalistic clowns!"

"That does sound harsh. I'm sure your puppet is really very lovely." Neji told him gently, mentally sweatdropping.

"Thank you!" Kankuro exclaimed, grateful that someone, even if they'd never seen his work, was supporting him. "See Temari, not everyone thinks tired eyes makes something a serial killer."

"I said it looked like some sort of pedophile, not a serial killer."

"These are really awful cards, I think I might come in last this round." Sasuke frowned, inadvertently breaking the tension. Gaara almost sighed in relief, there was a reason Kankuro and Temari normally hung out with different people. In light of their disparate class schedules however, they had all agreed to get together every week or so to stay connected. The present thursday evening was their latest attempt at civility in a long line of food fights, trip fights and book fights which seemed to mark most every meeting between his siblings. The worst had been last week, when the librarian, at the end of her rope, had to stop them from piling up tens of books to see who could get the highest tower without it falling over. Gaara was still somewhat annoyed that though he was still allowed to take books out, none of them could walk around without Ms. Grendel following them everywhere they went. At least he'd finally learned her name.

**/POV/**

"Haahh... Haahh..."

"You wanna take a break or something? You've been running ever since you got here, like 2 hours ago." Kiba asked worriedly, patting his friend on the back. The blond may have had impressive stamina, but even he had his limits.

"Naahh... I... Still good..." Naruto huffed, resting his hands on his knees for support. Kiba looked out at the field, wishing more than ever that Tsunade would lift his ban already. She'd almost done it too, changing her mind out of nowhere after he'd said 'thanks Mrs. Hokage!'. Apparently some people didn't like to be thanked...

Seeing that Kiba continued to watch him pant in concern, Naruto tried to reassure him again. "Seriously- *cough*, I have to make up for... aahh... missing last time."

"Ha ha! Great commitment Naruto!" Guy suddenly appeared at the blond's side to join in slapping him on the back. "You've got as much energy as Lee." He beamed, hands now on his hips in a sort of pose.

Kiba groaned inwardly, their coach got on his nerves sometimes. His Naruto needed rest, not encouragement!

Uh- Naruto. Naruto needed rest. Probably. Whatever. Kiba tried to distract himself by focusing on the people in the stands. Jiraiya, again with his notebook. Kiba wondered what he kept writing in there..._ whatshisfacefromBio... some random clique... kid with a violin... Who brings a violin to a soccer game? Pfft._ It was even weirder than that guy who brought his drum to a hockey game he saw, and probably more annoying than those clapper things. Kiba watched the boy who, come to think of it, bore a striking resemblance to that pretentious bastard who shall not be named.

Was he going to play it or just leave it in the stupid case? Now Kiba was getting impatient, waiting for something he expected to be unpleasant was not much fun. But the sombre looking boy just stared at the field, apparently too busy thinking to pay his violin any attention. _Fine_, Kiba thought angrily. _Don't play it, you probably suck anyway_. He turned back to the field where Naruto was once again running with the ball, only to be more depressed after remembering that he still wasn't allowed anywhere near it. There was Billy, who hardly knew one end of the field from the other, tripping over his own feet. There was Suigetsu missing another pity shot from a sympathetic teammate.

"Ha ha! Good try! You almost didn't fall that time!"

The sad wavering of a violin coming from the stands coupled with a clap of thunder suddenly sounded like the most appropriate thing ever.

"Uh oh, the sky is angry boys! We'll end practice early today so that none of you get struck by lightning." Guy didn't sound particularly worried. Why would any of them even get hit by lightning anyway? It wasn't like they were running around holding metal rods. _Actually that would be kinda cool... Damn it!_ Kiba wanted to play so badly. _Just two more days, two more days..._

**/POV/**

"Your win, Sasuke." Temari said, tossing her cards to the next dealer. The dark haired boy smirked to himself but was careful not to take his winnings too enthusiastically. It wouldn't be dignified.

"You know, she's always been like this, putting down my art." Kankuro continued to tell Neji, also tossing in his cards. "Hey, you wanna come over some time and see Elizabetha? I bet _you'd_ appreciate her." Neji stalled for a few minutes, hoping a new round of Texas Holdem would divert the older Sabaku boy's attention, but ended up agreeing when it became apparent that he was more interested in a reply.

_This happens every time... Why am I such a push-over? _Neji thought, turning his head away to brush a strand of hair back behind his ear.

"Sounds fun, are you going to braid each other's hair too?" Temari whispered, leaning back on one hand.

"Shut up Temari." To Neji, Kankuro began to describe his method of preparing wood for painting. He'd already gone over his selection process for picking fabrics and Neji fervently hoped that this wouldn't be as long.

"You might take your own advice, I'm sure Neji would rather not hear about how you dressed up your latest doll."

"First of all," Kankuro began, colouring. "Puppeteering is a respectable art form." Temari snorted with unsuppressed laughter but he ignored her. "Second-"

"I don't think stuff that no one wants to look at really qualifies as art."

"No one asked you!"

"They didn't have to," Temari replied, pleased to get back at Kankuro for beating her in their book stacking contest. She flicked a card at him and he threw some back, resulting in an all-out war. Gaara apologized to Sasuke for his siblings' behaviour, worried the boy might try to kick them out. Sasuke brushed him off, however, privately grateful that the game was over. This had been his first win in almost thirty rounds and Uchihas didn't take well to being bested by others. Neji found himself similarly relieved that Kankuro was too busy to talk to him.

But of course, Gaara knew none of this and continued to watch his siblings hurl cards and witty insults at one another with apprehension. Not long ago he'd convinced Sasuke to take down the roommate ettiquette rules, now there was just the one pie chart the other boy had insisted on keeping up. Ten minutes of childish behaviour could throw all of his careful appeals out the window!

"Temari..." He began gently.

"Hah! You call that a throw? Grandma Lena could do better and she's dead!"

"Yeah, keep talking Puppet Boy. Talk while you can." Temari was winding up her pitching arm, a habit she'd picked up in baseball, to get Kankuro with one more good shot when the door opened. Normally this would not distract her in the least, but it wasn't so much the motion of the door as the person on the other side whom she was staring at open-mouthed. The spikey haired boy stared back for an intense minute before they both shook their heads abruptly and continued what they were doing.

"Hey, what was that all abou- Agh!" Kankuro grunted and raised his hands to protect his face from the onslaught of playing cards that hit him.

"Gaara," Shikamaru said, leaning against the doorframe. "Naruto said he left his extra gym clothes here. Could you get them?"

"What for, did he go play soccer naked?" Kankuro muttered, rubbing his cheek where he now had a small papercut.

Hearing him, Shikamaru replied, "It started to rain so his uniform's filthy, but he still wants to keep going." It was Gaara's turn to stare at Shikamaru. When had Naruto ever left his clothes in their room? Temari nonchalantly started building a card tower, apparently uninterested in whatever else was going on in the room.

"He stashed them in your closet when you weren't looking, in case he ever needed a spare." Gaara sweatdropped but went to check.

"He what!" Sasuke sounded outraged. Gaara could hear Neji talking to him softly but the Uchiha still berated the blond's messenger until Gaara came back with the tie-bag of clothes which had indeed been stuffed in a small corner of his closet. Shikamaru took it gratefully, though his countenance remained bored and disconnected.

"You tell him that! Tell that sneaky little-"

"Sasuke," Neji interjected. "He's gone."

**/POV/**

"Aww! Who's a good girl? Yes you are!" Tsunade cooed to Tonton, stroking her chinny chin chin above the sound of rain assaulting the windows. Shizune watched the pig twitch its back leg gratefully, torn between the sweetness of the situation and the danger of harbouring the principal's secret pet. If someone from the school board happened to catch her, she could lose her job. Also, it was rather tiring having to drive into town every other weekend to buy her expensive, special food which Shizune then had to wait until nightfall to bring in. Then there was the whole business of cleaning Tonton's litterbox, which Tsunade had taught her to use like a very peculiar cat.

"Ooh, who's a cutey? You are! You are!" Tonton snorted and rubbed her snout against Tsunade affectionately. Aww, Shizune thought. She really didn't mind taking care of such an adorable little piggy, so long as no one knew it was there. "Coochy-coochy-coo!"

"Shizune." Tsunade said, suddenly serious. "Why hasn't the plan been put into action yet?" Well that was scary.

"Ah- yes... About that, isn't the whole thing a little extreme? I mean, it seems a bit dangerous to..."

"Shizune, Shizune, Shizune. You should know by now that anything worth doing is worth overdoing!"

"I just think that you could get the same results-"

"We! This is a team effort."

"Right. We could get the same-"

"The subject is closed! Don't let me hear about you disobeying direct orders again and enact Plan LIW immediately."

"Yes Tsunade..." Shizune answered faithfully, a cold dread in her heart telling her that this would not end well.

**X X X X**

**Aww...**

**I tend to narrate in the third person now, so POV probably isn't the best scene breaker anymore... But I'm just gonna assume that you guys are cool with it ^^  
**


	10. Chapter Tenten haha

**I was going to post this yesterday, but... :(**

**...Chapter ten :)  
**

**X X X X**

"Aah..." Kiba breathed happily. It was Tuesday and even though the sky above was still kinda stormy, even though he could still hear Coach Guy laughing unnecessarily and even though Billy still sucked at soccer, none of that mattered because his ban was finally over and he had played like no one had ever played before, running up and down the field almost as much as Lee. "Aah..." He sighed again, in part because this was his first rest since practice had ended.

"Could you try and be a bit more quiet?" A voice yawned from Kiba's left.

"Mm." Kiba closed his eyes to further enjoy recuperating from a sport he hadn't been allowed to play for so long. _So freaking long._ And now he was on fire, not letting in a single goal or missing a single shot after switching out of the net. Not one. He and Naruto had dominated the field straight up all afternoon, though he supposed he did feel kinda bad that Suigestsu was sitting out on the bench again. Kiba grinned wolfishly to himself, back to remembering how the blond had evaded Lee's every attempt to take the ball from him- and Lee was good! Naruto... Naruto was pretty awesome. He was always so cheerful and nice... and good at sports... and hot...

What the hell. Kiba did _not _think his friend was hot, he wasn't gay. He liked girls! Girls with long black hair and pale, pale eyes...

"Kiba," Shikamaru said tiredly. _Shikamaru!_ Why was this guy so tired all the time, huh? _Probably stays up all night studying, 'cause how does some one who sleeps through class like every day get such high marks? Yeah... Shikamaru... you know what else isn't Naruto shaped? Clouds... Actually, the sky's just white, why does he love staring at it so much?  
_

"... Kiba-"

"What!" Kiba accidentally shouted. "If you have something to say Shikamaru, then say it."

"..." The other boy stared groggily ahead for while before eventually replying, "I was just going to tell you that Naruto's been waving at you for five minutes."

Kiba sat up abruptly. "Well tell him I've got stuff to do." With that he ran for the school buildings and didn't stop until he was hopelessly lost in one the identical looking corridors, cursing the fact that Tsunade hung the same painting in every single one instead of questioning his own feelings.

**/POV/**

Someone knocked sharply on the door, causing the crimson-haired boy to look up from where he was kneeling. Could Sasuke be back already? Gaara glanced back at his desk drawer, the one he hadn't been able to open since moving in. He'd always been rather curious as to whether it was simply stuck or actually locked. The shiny, golden-coloured keyhole looked a little scratched for some reason, perhaps the previous tenant had had bad eyesight. Gaara ran a hand through his midlength shag and slowly got up to let Sasuke back in. This whole business of knocking and waiting to be let in even though they both had keys was another strange thing he'd gotten used to by now.

But it wasn't his roommate gracefully closing the door, throwing off his coat with a groan and then slumping onto his bed (Sasuke seemed to find student council meetings rather tedious), it was Neji standing at the entrance politely.

The longer dark haired boy nodded to him before speaking. "Sorry to bother you, but I cannot seem to be able to find your brother. He had intended to show me his latest work this afternoon?" He made the last the statement into a question, probably unsure whether Gaara remembered Kankuro asking him just prior to the Sabaku Sibling Card War.

"..." Gaara stared at Neji for a moment, thinking again how odd the boy's formal speech sounded, before answering, "Check the art room." Though he preferred not to actually work there for fear of people damaging his puppets, Kankuro often stayed after school to borrow paints and other supplies.

"Yes, I realize it's a favourite spot of Kankuro's but I'm sorry to say that he wasn't there." Oh, so Neji had already checked.

"Then check his dorm." He may have already checked there too, as it was the most logical place to find Kankuro, but Gaara wasn't sure where else to suggest.

Neji looked almost frustrated for a second but quickly smoothed himself over. "I would like to. Can you please tell me his room number?" Ah, so that was it.

"442." Assuming Neji was finished and wanting to get back to examining his mysteriously locked drawer, Gaara shut the door before the other boy could even finish saying 'thank you'.

**/POV/**

"See, these hinges are brass. I only used iron for Raoul's 'cause back then I didn't know any better." Kankuro gestured enthusiastically to Elizabetha's limbs before turning back to his clown puppet. "His aren't rusted out though, 'cause I'm careful to keep him away from any moisture. Impurities in the metal can do it too, but there's not much I can do about that, short of replacing them altogether." Kiba chuckled to his companion, slightly giddy to be exhibiting his work to someone. Anyone. He hadn't seen Neji that afternoon but had been thrilled to hear that the boy's cousin was equally interested in amazing craftsmanship. Kankuro could easily show him another day if he didn't see him later on that evening!

Hinata nodded meekly, fidgeting with the hem of her baggy uniform. She was nervous to be in another student's dorm room, let alone a boy's. Nor did she know Kankuro particularly well- they only had a mixed art class together.

"His face took the longest, you'll notice it looks very realistic 'cause I took the time to find the right overtones and undertones to fit. It just calls out to me, you know? Artistry kind of runs in the family, so I guess it could be genetic." He smiled at her and Hinata quickly tried to think of something to say.

"It's very p-pretty, you have talent." And it was true, all of the puppets Kankuro had shown her were very well done. She felt like they might come alive and murder her at any second. Ivana even had a little nail file permanently glued to one sharp little hand. Yes, Kankuro it was deathly cute.

The older Sabaku seemed not to notice her discomfort, even letting her hold the scariest one, painted to resemble a particularly homicidal clown, as if it were a great honour. She appreciated his thoughtfulness, really, and was sure she would eventually recover from the shivers currently running down her spine, but was certain she'd appreciate it more if Kankuro would run out of puppeteering advice and suggest they go somewhere else instead. _Somewhere a bit more spacious_, Hinata hoped, apprehensively glancing at the metal chains hanging unnervingly close to her head.

"Oh, yeah!" Kankuro suddenly cried, making Hinata jump. "Sorry, I just keep running my mouth, I didn't even think of how you must be feeling!" Hinata blushed and shook her head gratefully. "Here, grab one of those chains, you can help me rig up Elizabetha! Hearing about all this without getting to do anything, I'm sorry. I just get so caught up." He smiled and laughed again, cradling the half-finished creature of nightmares in his arms.

_Oh god... You can do this Hinata!_

**/POV/**

Sasuke surveyed the room over professionally clasped hands.

"So can we hang the streamers sideways next dance?" Sasuke had to resist the urge to strangle the tall orange-haired boy but a couple of people on council were nodding to each other and whispering that they liked his idea.

Sasuke would have to take this matter into his own hands. "I'm not sure that that would be practical," he began. "People might get tangled in them or rip them down." A few more people started nodding but Jugo's supporters didn't look convinced.

"Yeah but we have to do something more interesting, like no one came last time."

"Yeah..."

"Just like a few grade nines."

"Minor Niners..." Someone snickered.

It was a revolt! Sasuke would have to act quickly to preserve his authority. "There must be other ways we can encourage attendance, perhaps a live DJ or strobe lights?"

"Mm! That's cool too. Regular streamers are better anyway." The vice president agreed. Sasuke grinned inwardly, this was why he got Tenten elected.

"My friend could do it- he's a pretty sweet DJ."

"You mean DJ? I love that guy!"

"Wait, what?"

"Yeah, his name is DJ or he _is_ a DJ?

"Both. Ha ha, cool right?"

"What, it's his real name?"

"Naw, his real name's Dean, but Jacob's his middle name so he gets everyone to call him DJ."

"Cool!" Sasuke didn't roll his eyes but he came close. The rest of the student council could be so immature that he pitied them. Their best quality was how easily he could sway them to support his opinions.

"I still kinda like the streamer idea..." _Damn it!_

**/POV/**

_So rude..._ Why on earth did Sasuke like that boy so much? He wasn't even that pretty, never mind pleasant to talk to. Did being attractive make it okay to slam the door in another person's face? Did it excuse purposefully unhelpful monosyllabic answers? Neji had known he was gay since the seventh grade and didn't feel one ounce of attraction towards Gaara.

Neji closed his eyes and counted to ten. Though he was too busy criticizing Gaara's manners to notice at that moment, something surprisingly common was about to happen.

"Oof!" Neji slammed into Kiba, who was slouching around a corner looking tired, sending them both to the ground. Neji somehow toppled down elegantly with the other boy falling roughly on top of him.

"Ah!" Neji gritted his teeth against the pain of Kiba's elbow jabbing into his side.

"Hey, get off me man!" Kiba said, even though he was on top, and got up angrily.

"My apologies," Neji winced, the spot on his side a little tender. "I didn't mean to bump into you, but I was rather distracted."

"Yeah you better be..." Kiba started to slouch off in another direction, almost randomly. What he'd said didn't seem to make much sense either. Neji shook his head, why did none of the people he'd come in contact with today have an ounce of civility?

**/POV/**

"Haah." Shizune blew on her mittened hands, hoping it would help keep them warm. This was less fun than watcing the same moving eight times in a row, she thought miserably, stamping her feet. Had December always been this cold? She checked her eco-friendly cloth grocery bag and was disheartened to see half a loaf of stale bread still left. "Haah," she sighed into her hands.

Someday she was going to ask Tsunade for a transfer, she couldn't keep up with all these schemes. Let someone else clean Tonton's litter box.

But then... Tonton was so sweet, and since Tsunade had gotten her hooked on Oprah reruns, it had been a lot of fun to lock the office door for an hour and watch it together.

"Haah." She blew on her cold hands and hoped the birds wouldn't eat the crumbs she was laying out almost as much as she hoped that she wouldn't get frostbite.

**X X X X**

**Hmm... Now I didn't use the third person at all, guess POV isn't such a bad scene cutter after all :)**

**Oh wait, yes I did... once ^ ^;**

**Still.**


	11. à la Chapter 11

**I'm this far and... what... what happened to all of the romance? My romantic comedy is turning into a platonic, let's-just-be-friends comedy! **

**But I haven't given up just yet!  
**

**...Chapter eleven :)  
**

**X X X X**

"But-"

"No buts, Naruto!"

"..."

"But-"

"No buts! This is an honour and you will be grateful to have the opportunity to participate in such an important school event."

"But most of the school isn't even involved! Seriously, what kind of event just has two people doing it?"

"Did I not just say no buts?" Tsunade looked at him sternly, "Now take your special clean-up bag and go wait outside so I can present Gaara with his broom."

Naruto grumbled under his breath but took the grocery bag she was offering to him. He wasn't really looking forward to participating in this supposedly nationwide 'event'- cleaning up a trail of breadcrumbs someone had left on the nature path. What about schools that _had_ no nature path? Did they just get left out or did they find a forest somewhere?

And if the LIW race was so famous, how come he'd never even heard of it before? More like the old lady just wanted someone to work for free. But then... this did mean he got to spend the entire day with one of his favourite people, even if they did have to sweep the whole time. _Maybe we can have a picnic_, he thought cheerfully. He could bring cold pizza from the caf or something so they wouldn't be famished by dinner time. Naruto smiled, congratulating himself on using another one of Iruka's weird vocabulary words.

Tsunade watched Naruto leave with satisfaction, he didn't suspect a thing! In fact, he looked happy to be chosen. She supposed all he'd needed was a little time to get over the initial shock, the (first annual) LIW race was (going to be) a major event, after all. Or maybe just a major announcement on Monday morning. She might not feel like choosing two nobodies to walk around pointlessly for an afternoon next year either, so the first annual may also be the last.

Anyway, her plan was perfect: her cute little orphan and his new best friend walk arm-in-arm through a beautiful forest together having a philosophical argument which leaves them with a mutual respect for one another's opinions. She'd even had Shizune tape some quotes from Aristotle to the bag. By the end of the day, the two boys would be so close they'd plan a sleep over, which she would then pretend not to know about, and tell each other ghost stories all night. It was guaranteed to work! No matter what Jiraiya said. What did that man know about bringing (forcing) people together, anyway? He hadn't been the one watching out for a precocious child for four years! Four years. They may have grown up on the same block, but she was by far the expert on this subject. Even... but it would be silly to start thinking about the other boy who'd been part of their trio now, when neither of them had seen him since high school.

"Ah..." She sighed happily, she loved childhood. So innocent.

17 was still childhood wasn't it? Tsunade frowned, uncertain. She couldn't quite remember being 17 herself, it felt like such a long time ago. Not that it was. Not really. Yes, she nodded to herself, 17 _was_ still childhood. She only had her little orphan for one more year before he became an adult and she was going to make it a productive one! She might have been missing some intermediary step, but didn't have time to try to remember what it could have been. Something about hormones...

**/POV/**

Sasuke stared at Kankuro, twiddling his thumbs on Gaara's bed. How long exactly did the boy plan on waiting for? Thirty minutes, if not more, had already passed and Sasuke was getting anxious. Kakashi wanted their essays in on moday and he couldn't work with someone watching!

Well, he could but he didn't want to. It had taken Sasuke literally weeks (two) to get comfortable enough to let down his guard around Gaara. He was determined to force the English teacher to give him the 90 he deserved, but it just wouldn't do to allow too many people to see him bob his head like some sort of delinquent. He couldn't even remove his blazer and he was starting to feel a little stuffy!

Tick tick tick... The clock leered at him from its convenient perch on the wall, directly between the two beds. Sasuke quickly calculated in his head: if it was only 4.30pm and Kankuro expected Gaara to be back soon, he could probably get in at least 4 more hours to perfect his rough draft. Technically, he still had the entire weekend, but Uchihas did not leave things until the last minute.

"Hey, you know if Temari's coming?" Kankuro asked. He sounded bored- good! Even if Gaara took longer than expected, perhaps he could be persuaded to wait elsewhere.

"No, I'm afraid not."

"You mean she's not coming or you don't know?"

Tch. "What I meant to say is that I am unaware of any plans the two of you have together."

"Oh..." Kankuro went back to looking around the room. "So... where is my little brother, anyhow?"

He didn't even know! Did Sasuke have to do everything himself? "Actually, I was under the impression that he and Naruto had gone to pick up trash around the school yard." There! "For community hours," he added for good measure. Sasuke had no idea where Gaara was, but no one could accuse him of purposely misleading them if he claimed to believe it himself. Naruto (Sasuke had finally clarified the boy's name with Gaara) was probably off drinking paint somewhere.

"Huh? They're outside? Why didn't you tell me before I sat here for an hour!" _Oh ho._ Kankuro was mad, was he? Well so was Sasuke! He could've written the opening paragraph by now.

"I'm sorry, I didn't know that you were waiting for them."

Kankuro stared at him incredulously. "What, did you think I was just sitting here for fun? Geez, Temari must be out there already." _Run puppet-boy, run! Go catch them!_

Kankuro half-waved at Sasuke before tearing out of the room.

_Ha ha! It worked!_ Sasuke grinned at the closed door as he threw off his jacket and turned to his laptop to get started. He read through the two pages of writing and had made only three adjustments when his gaze began to turn once again towards Gaara's Mysterious Locked Drawer, or GMLD for short.

_No!_ Sasuke shook his head furiously and tried to focus on English. But his essay was already perfect...

_No!_ Sasuke refused to betray his beautiful roommate's trust... again. _But..._ Sasuke glanced at the handsaw he'd borrowed without permission from the school's wood shop.

Tick tick tick...

**/POV/**

"Here, let me take that for you." Danzo simpered to the well dressed man and woman stepping out of the large black car, pulling their luggage out of the trunk.

"Yes, thank you, Mr. Danzo."

"My pleasure," he wheezed. The bags were rather heavy.

"Good old _Konoha high_..." The man gazed fondly around the campus, apparently lost in memories of his own time there as a student.

Instead of correcting him about the name, Danzo replied, "It's lovely, isn't it?" The man only nodded, while the woman ignored him to continue the intense conversation she was having on her cell phone. But Danzo didn't mind- these people were going to be his saviours!

**/POV/**

Gaara glanced down at the peeling tape on the 'special clean-up instrument' the principal had given him, thinking about how the entire LIW race sounded suspiciously like free labour. None of _Konoha Secondary_'s brochures or promotional videos so much as mentioned it and he couldn't seem to shake the thought that Tsunade had simply made it up. Of course, it made little sense as the school had ample resources to hire another groundskeeper if toothless, one-eyed Joe wasn't up for it. The poor man did look past the retirement age.

Naruto whistled beside him, swinging his grocery bag with the hand that wasn't holding the strap of the back pack he'd brought along. It seemed to be quite full, but Gaara hoped that they wouldn't be in the woods long enough to need it.

"Did she tell you which path we start at?" Gaara asked him.

Naruto smiled and pointed towards a small sign with faded lettering which stood in front of a narrow opening in the trees. Had that always been there? Gaara felt like he'd never seen it before.

"Aren't you excited?"

"..."

**X X X X**

**Aha!**

**Oh wait- there's still no romance. Damn it!**

**I'm leaving this chapter short on purpose. There's nothing else to be done here.  
**


	12. Chapter Twaalf

**I had to go sit by my thinking lake for a while, but I'm back now.**

**Allons-y!**

**...Chapter eleven :)  
**

**X X X X**

Hinata leaned against the spotless glass of the window, watching Naruto and to a lesser extent, Gaara (why was he carrying a broom?), make their way towards the thickest part of the forest. She'd spotted them by accident but whenever Naruto appeared, she couldn't help but stop and watch- or at least not when he wouldn't be able to catch her. His kind, golden head still looked like an angel's...

_Oh!_ Hinata ducked behind the solid wall. _What if he turned around suddenly and saw her staring, or that scary Russian boy?_ she worried, mortified by her own imagination. Hinata covered her mouth with both hands, and started to inch down the wall, as if Gaara could see through it. Kankuro she could handle, even after having a series of nightmares in which his puppets chased her through a maze of wet, rusty chains. They talked in their mixed art class and he seemed quite nice. His little brother on the other hand, still frightened her to no end.

It wasn't that she necessarily believed the rumours Sakura had told her about him sacrificing the blood of animals in his room, or about him trying to and nearly succeeding in murdering some poor boy from his old school, or about him having nefarious supernatural powers of persuasion which he used to lure his victims to their doom...

That was just ridiculous, wasn't it? Completely made up, right?_ It has to be!_ she told herself somewhat hysterically.

Nonetheless, Hinata decided it would be best to leave the area immediately.

**/POV/**

"Ha ha, look!" Naruto grinned from where he was crouching on the dirt path, pointing at a pair of butterflies apparently getting busy in the air. Then his cheeks turned slightly red and he coughed.

Gaara nodded, still sweeping. He wasn't sure whether it was part of the event or if she had merely forgotten, but for whatever reason, Tsunade had not given them a dustpan.

"So..." Naruto continued, rubbing the back of his neck while his other hand held open the grocery bag for the bread crumbs and inevitably, dirt, leaves and twigs. "Nice day, eh?"

"..." Gaara couldn't honestly agree if he was talking about the weather, the trees were so tall and thick where they were that the sky above was completely obscured from view.

"Hey, what time it is?" Naruto suddenly looked up, excited, and dropped the bag to rummage through his backpack.

"I've got- blegh, *cough* *cough*-" Naruto caught a facefull of the dirt Gaara had been about to sweep into the bag he'd dropped.

"Naruto!" Gaara dropped to his knees to rub his friend on the back. Naruto continued to cough and spit.

"Here-" Gaara worriedly wiped Naruto's face with the hem of his shirt. "Sorry."

Naruto stared at him with bleary eyes. They were so close that Gaara could see each potential tear well up as the other boy's eyes tried to rid themselves of the foreign material. A few stray strands of blond hair lay across his reddening face.

"Uhh... Thanks." Naruto blinked and, trying not to cough anymore, got up to stretch his legs. "Yeah, no. It's cool- don't worry about it."

"You want to take a break?"

"Actually..." Naruto began, blinking at his backpack where the frozen pizza his favourite lunch lady Doris had sneaked out for him was still waiting to be eaten. "Yeah."

**/POV/**

The man ran a finger along the frame, frowning at the smattering of dust which came away, while Danzo watched gleefully. The chairwoman had power-walked for the girls' bathroom as soon as they'd entered the building, but he still had the vice-chairman of the board.

"Oh my, how embarrassing." Danzo apologized in a dramatically woeful voice. "But you mustn't hold it against Tsunade- she's a very busy woman."

The man merely harrumphed in response and Danzo had to stop himself from cackling. Everything was going perfectly! Part one, where his nephew had successfully planted his skateboard on the school steps was already over, the vice-chairman had definitely frowned at it. Now, even before Part two (litter in the hallways), the man had found something altogether unexpected to disapprove of! It wouldn't be long before he was arranging portraits of his cats on the walls of his private office. Perhaps he would even let Sai pet one of them- not Fifi, maybe Marley. Danzo had always felt that the boy took after himself, a lone ranger, an island.

"Well, however nice it is to be back, I haven't got all day. Shall we move on to the school office?"

"Of course." Danzo simpered and began to lead the way. The final stage was approaching more quickly than he'd anticipated, once the man saw how unprepared Tsunade was for their meeting (which Danzo had neglected to mention to her) she would be demoted faster than you can say 'who's your principal?'.

**/POV/**

Shizune chuckled to herself, a recent sighting in the hall having reminded her of something funny said the previous month, as she opened the door to her apartment, shifting the folders in her arms so as not to drop them. Iruka was actually pretty funny- maybe from spending so much time with Naruto. Whatever it was, she always enjoyed having dinner with the other staff when he was there. Asuma was too gruff, Kakashi was too apathetic, and god knew Tsunade was a little too fond of alcohol, but the blond boy's guardian could always be counted on to be a pleasant conversational companion. Perhaps she ought to wear her new dress this evening- slinky and backless. She had those red high heeled shoes somewhere as well... and those slightly garish earrings Tsunade had given her last year for christmas.

She shook her head. _No, no,_ _how silly of me._ They wouldn't be appropriate for a group dinner with members of the board, particularly one held in the school's formal dining room.

"Tonton," Shizune called out, stepping out of her shoes and dumping the work-related papers on her coffee table. "Auntie's home, come get some lunch." She padded back over to the closet and pulled out a bag of whole corn and vegetable leaves, dragging it over to her small kitchen to refill the pig's food dish, but paused when she got there. The food from that morning looked as if it had hardly been touched. The water dish was also much higher than it normally was by lunchtime. Tonton didn't have a stomach ache did she? Shizune worried, crossing over to the pig's favourite blanket to sleep on. It wasn't even warm.

"Tonton!" Shizune called again. Where was she? She never took this long to come, especially at lunchtime. "Tonton! Come to Auntie!" Shizune raced around the apartment, checking everywhere she could think of, finding nothing.

Tonton was missing.

**/POV/**

_Oh god, what have I done?_ Sasuke massaged his temple, staring in panic at the hacked, mangled wood of GMLD. It had been rather more difficult than he'd expected to handle a hand saw. The second Gaara returned from wherever, he'd know exactly what Sasuke had been doing! _Oh god!_

Plus all he'd found in the drawer were some old love confessions to the principal- gross. They were obviously a lot older than a fewer months, more in the way of thirty years, by the looks of how yellowed the paper had become so Sasuke was pretty sure Gaara hadn't written them anyway. He wasn't sure how he felt about it- on the one hand he was exceptionally relieved that Gaara wasn't pining after some woman more than three times his age, but on the other hand...

Sasuke traced along the largest split in the desk, wondering if it would still be noticable with the liberal application of wood glue. It would. _Okay Sasuke... think! WhatdoIdowhatdoIdowhatdoI-_

Sasuke suddenly snapped his fingers, immensely pleased with his genius. Had Naruto been in his position, the blond would surely have given up long before. That bright smile would surely have been extinguished, those cheery eyes, blue as a summer's day- see? he was poetic- would have become gloomy and downcast. Sasuke set out along the corridor, now feeling slightly sad for some reason, in search of an empty room. Halfway down he remembered that there were none, and backtracked to his own empty handed to regroup. If he was going to simply replace the desk with another he would have to move fast, but not only did he not have another, intact desk, he had no way of getting it to his room, nor G's formerly MLD out.

This was going to take some work.

**/POV/**

Kiba yawned at the sky, leaning casually back on the bleachers. Friday afternoons had to be his favourite time of the week- the longest possible window of time between regular school weeks. No rush... no work (he could do Kakashi's essay later, it wasn't hard)... not even practice 'cause Mr. Guy had to go to some meeting.

To be honest, he'd come to the field wondering if the violin kid came even when there was no soccer (turns out no). At least since the first time Kiba had spotted the guy, he'd been showing up to every practice. It was cool to have dedicated fans even when some of the players sucked, but the whole playing the violin while they were practicing thing was kinda weird. Why did people like classical music anyway? There were no lyrics or good beats, just old-fashioned boredom. Boring old-fashioned beats, or not beats, what would you call that... that word... was it a phrase?..

Kiba frowned at the field, trying to remember, when his eyes suddenly focused on Hinata walking with Kankuro. Huh? What? Since when were they friends? They weren't dating were they? Kiba frowned instead at the older Sabaku boy, wondering if it wouldn't be weird if he interrupted them. Yeah, he kinda knew Kankuro, and he and Hinata had always been friendly...

**/POV/**

Naruto stared up at what he assumed would be the sky if all these trees weren't in the way. The green light that filtered through was getting darker and he was starting to get impatient for the LIW race to be over. The first thing he was gonna do when he got his- actually he didn't know what the prize was, but he was gonna ask old lady Tsunade what LIW stood for. That and he still wasn't clear on a bunch of other things, like why it was called a race if no one was timing them, not that it made any sense to do so anyway 'cause every school would be using a different nature trail with different lengths and all that. It made no sense! Why did it have to make no sense? Naruto had enough to confuse him, like why being around Gaara made him blush (allergic reaction? he hoped not) and why Sasuke was such a cold jerk (swallowed a fridge? ha ha). Naruto began to laugh at his own joke then tried to turn it into a cough so that Gaara wouldn't think he was weird.

"...?"

"Hey, you think we're almost done?" Naruto asked cheerfully, changing the subject. "It's been like two hours already."

"I don't know, I've been on this trail before." Gaara replied. Naruto nodded, neither had he. It could have been twice the length of the others and they would have no idea. Plus they were going really slowly since they had to sweep up breadcrumbs the whole way.

"Man, I hope we get back before nightfall." Naruto ran a hand through his hair worriedly.

Gaara nodded and Naruto assumed that he was remembering the time when they were locked up together in a cleaning supplies closet. It hadn't been terrible but he for one had missed his bed.

"Yeah, I don't really wanna sleep on the ground. At least that closet was ins- Hey, what's that!" Naruto cut himself off abruptly, standing up to get a better view. Gaara came up beside him, probably curious about what he was pointing at. It was like someone had written them into a fairy tale.

A cabin in the middle of the school nature trail?

**X X X X **

**It may seem cruel, but no one ever ends up with who they have a crush on in the first place. ;)**

**But I hope you guys like where the story's going, though I'm sorry if I didn't incorporate your idea... yet. :)  
**


	13. Bam! Chapter 十三

**Again, last chapter was '12', not '11' - -; Can you tell that I never delete that line? :P  
**

**...Chapter thirteen :)  
**

**X X X X**

A small plume of smoke rose from its blocky chimney but this was almost immediately lost in the dense foliage above. Thick evergreens teemed around it on every side so that only a slight gap in the trees betrayed its presence at all. It was so well hidden, in the deepest, most inconspicuous region of the forest that it might not have been there at all if you didn't know where to look.

The little cabin had a strange feeling of danger about it, almost as if they shouldn't be there. Gaara sweatdropped when he saw that Naruto was already cupping his face against the windows, trying to peer inside, but stepped through the underbrush after him anyway. A vague feeling of unease wasn't exactly a reason not to investigate and besides, it was probably nothing.

"Hey, check this out! There's a little chair in there and everything-" Naruto rubbed at the dusty window pane with his shirt sleeve in an effort to clean it. "Look! Is that a little doll? Man, creepy. Like that horror movie... Hey, when we get back, you wanna watch a-"

Crick. A twig snapped somewhere behind them and he spun around with a gasp. Seconds passed and, seeing nothing out of the ordinary, Naruto started to laugh nervously. "Sorry, guess I'm a little jumpy."

"..." Gaara stared at the spot the noise had come from. That hadn't sounded like an animal.

"So, uh yeah. It's pretty good and we can invite-"

Crick. This time Naruto didn't gasp but spun around twice as fast. More seconds passed where nothing happened as the two of them watched the trees stand eerily still in this sheltered neck of the woods.

"Did... did you hear that?" Naruto asked uncertainly.

"..." Gaara nodded to reassure his friend that he wasn't hallucinating. The cabin, the trees, the total absence of movement... it all felt slightly surreal.

"Right... I mean good." Naruto turned back to the cabin but didn't seem to want to look inside of it any more. "Maybe we could come back, I mean we still have a lot of sweeping to do."

**/POV/**

"Gentlemen, may I have a word?" Sasuke resisted the urge to brush off his jacket. Just breathing the same air as these delinquents made him feel as though he was being contaminated. He supposed he should have been used to it by now after spending so much time with Naruto, but he wasn't.

_Tch._ That stupid blond kept popping up in his thoughts for no reason. It was incredibly annoying, but a reluctant glance at the purposefully ripped and disheveled uniforms of the boys in front of him told him that he might have actually been better off in the blond's company.

Sasuke was assuming the leader was the one with so many piercings in his face that he could have passed for a block of swiss cheese- ha! Sasuke had to suppress a smirk. This was neither the time nor the place.

"Beat it, _prez._" The blond boy to the left sneered but Swiss Cheese held up a hand for silence. It really was a better name than the ridiculous one the boy had given himself- 'Pain'. What was he, some sort of wrestler?

"What do you want?"

"I do apologize for bothering you," Sasuke continued politely, ignoring the general hostility being directed at him by the other boys in their little semi-circle. "But I have a... proposition which I don't believe you will be opposed to."

"I have a proposition for _you_, yeah." The blond boy muttered flipping his bangs out of his face. Was that a verbal tic? It wasn't very scary, Sasuke thought wryly.

Pain shot a warning glance at Deidara before turning back to Sasuke, "Spit it out already."

**/POV/**

"Cool." Kiba pretended to be interested in whatever Kankuro was talking about. So far there had been no signs of couple-y behaviour, which really relieved him because Kiba Inuzaka was 100% straight. No joke.

No flirty eyes, no almost touches, no telling him to get lost... They'd just greeted him warmly and invited him to walk with them- Kankuro especially enthusiastic, or maybe he was just more expressive. It made Kiba feel pretty popular, but man, did that guy love the sound of his own voice.

"So then we had all these pictures up and we'd play whatever make-believe game was the flavour of the week. Heh, the whole little enclave was raised a bit so it really was a kind of stage, at least to eight year-olds." Kankuro continued, lost in memories of his childhood in Russia.

"Like a... shrine?" Hinata stared at the older boy with wide eyes. She also seemed to be hyperventilating ever so slightly.

"Huh? Well, no not really. More of a dias."

"A dias!"

Kankuro nodded thoughtfully, "Yeah... I guess you could call it that." He grinned, "If you wanted to."

Seeing him, Kiba nodded back, not really paying attention. They'd been walking forever- well, twice around the track, but it was getting tedious and Kiba was itching to do something more interesting. His weekend was kinda fading before his eyes, the sky just kept getting darker.

"Ah! I miss that old house." Kankuro sighed, "Even if it was a bit of a wreck in the basement. Well, Gaara had his room down there so we got pretty used to it."

Hinata's pace slowed and she seemed to be having difficulty speaking. "Your brother... lived in the basement?"

"You make it sound as if we never let him out to feed!" Kankuro laughed at his own joke, not noticing how much Hinata's face had paled. "Only at night of course, it's too easy to be seen in daylight and he's most definitely a creature of the dark." Kankuro was really starting to get into it, "You know in our old city there was a curfew for people's own protection? Didn't help very much. It went that if you heard your garden gate creak open, you bolted your door shut so that he couldn't get in. People even hung garlic and special Russian spices to ward him off." He paused, thinking. "Taken from the belly of a goat!"

"Hey, you okay?" Kiba asked her worriedly. She really didn't look too good.

"Oh my god! What's wrong with Hinata, is she sick?" Temari came jogging up behind them out of nowhere, or she might've been running the track the whole time, Kiba couldn't remember.

"Hey, where did you come from?" Apparently, neither could Kankuro, whose laughter had only just faded.

"Quiet puppet face, I think she might need to see the nurse."

**/POV/**

Sai crossed his arms and continued to stare at Tonton from where he was sitting cross-legged on the grass behind the auditorium. The pig snorted cutely and continued to sniff along the bricks of the wall, apparently pleased to get a whiff of the outside for a change. No offense to his uncle, but the crotchety old man's plan to get Tsunade fired was ridiculously soft. Danzo hadn't breathed a word of purpose to him, but oldy's motives had not been hard to guess. They weren't particularly close and Sai didn't actually care if he became principal or not, but he'd been dreadfully bored lately and helping his uncle without the man's knowledge sounded pretty interesting.

Snort! Tonton came trotting back to nuzzle his knees. On second thought, he didn't necessarily have to expose Tsunade's secret to the board members. He was starting to quite like this thing. He rubbed her favourite spot behind her right ear to more grateful nuzzling, but looked up when he heard what sounded like shouts of alarm.

"Quick, grab her shoulders- I think she might be passing out!"

"Damn it Kankuro, what did you have to tell her that stupid story for!"

"I've said it before and I'll say it again, you have no eye for creative genius, Temari! None."

**/POV/**

Shizune smoothed her modestly lengthed skirt nervously, glancing again at the door of the dining hall. It wasn't that Tsunade was late, though that was unusual in and of itself, but the fact that she had practically torn her apartment apart in her search for Tonton and still hadn't found her. After her apartment had been the hallways where she'd spent a good hour, even despite some curious stares and even the occasional question as to why she was sifting through garbage. But Tonton hadn't been there either. _Oh god, what will Tsunade do when she finds out? And poor Tonton!_ Shizune had to take a deep breath to calm herself, she was so worried.

The entire situation had left her with little time to take a quick shower and throw on some different clothes, let alone put on make-up or do her hair. She might have been embarrassed to be sitting beside the most crisply dressed woman she'd ever seen had her mind not been otherwise occupied. At least they wouldn't be talking much, the chairwoman didn't seem to have time for anyone who was physically in her presence with that phone permanently glued to her ear.

"And when might that be?"

"Haha," Jiraiya chuckled. "I can't just release information like that- even to such a dedicated fan as yourself. The next volume will be out when it's out."

"But surely that's just a formality? Nowhere in your contract does it forbid you from doing so." Kakashi countered.

"No but my editor would have my head!"

"And who might that be?"

"Ah ah, you won't catch me out so easily." Jiraiya wagged a finger at him and Shizune wished she could've gotten there earlier to choose a better seat, one where she wouldn't have to put up with annoying conversations. Although it was marginally better than certain others...

"Madame, would you do me the honour of passing me the salt?" Asuma grinned suggestively.

"Here you are. No pepper? Too hot for you, I suppose." Kurenai purred back.

"Any more heat and I'll start burning up."_ Oh, for heaven's sake._

Shizune fervently hoped that the kitchens would hurry up and serve them so that she could get back to more important things.

**/POV/**

"Naruto..." Gaara said quietly.

Crick. There it was again! Huh. Naruto had gotten much more comfortable after deciding that the noise really was just some bird breaking twigs for the fun of it. Not all birds had to sing.

"..."

"Oh! Yeah?"

"I don't mean to alarm you, but do you know that boy?"

"Hmm?" Naruto was busy examining the padlock on the single wooden door- kind of cool and rustic looking, all rusted out like that. "Sorry what?" Naruto looked up at his friend expectantly, still half wondering if there might be a key under the mat, but froze when he saw the tall, dark haired boy staring at him creepily over the red-head's shoulder.

"...Itachi?" Naruto rubbed the back of his head, confused. What was Sasuke's brother doing all the way out here? Was he part of the race too?

"So you do know each other." Gaara seemed a little reserved if that made any sense. It probably didn't.

"Huh? Well, yeah I guess." Looking back at the Uchiha he said, "Hey, Itachi, do you have like a riddle for us or something? I guess just sweeping would be too easy, eh?"

Itachi's brow furrowed as if he had no idea what Naruto was talking about, then suddenly it cleared.

"Yes... A riddle. Come inside and I'll give it to you." His voice sounded scratchy, as if he hadn't spoken in a long while, as he lurched toward the cabin door.

"Okay cool! C'mon Gaara." The LIW race might be pretty neat after all if it had more surprises like this. "So that was you in the bushes? How come you didn't say anything before?"

Itachi, his face hidden in shadow, pulled out a large bronze key and rattled it around in the lock. "I... didn't want to disturb you."

"Hey, don't worry about it!" Naruto patted him on the back. "You're doing great." Then added, "like the Sphynx," for good measure. Poor guy looked badly nervous about being part of the big event.

"..." Gaara looked at his friend in what might have been disbelief. Maybe he didn't like riddles.

**X X X X**

**Also EchoUchiha, my other story, GaaSasu, will hopefully be seeing some updates after this one ^ ^**

**I'm pretty sure it's still alive... even if it hasn't eaten in a while...**

**In other news, why is this story rated T?  
**


	14. Chapter Catorce

**"Donauquell, dein Anderlass, wo Trost und Leid zerfliessen~" Happy March :)  
**

**...Chapter fourteen :)  
**

**X X X X**

"Have you ever considered painting your face?"

Kankuro looked back at the strange boy who'd been following them like a lost puppy, only much less cute. "And why would I paint my face?" He asked wearily, expecting yet another needlessly rude answer. The guy had literally come out of nowhere, just as the three of them had started to walk Hinata back into the school.

"Well," The boy began, as if it were very obvious. "Your face." He could see Temari grinning as she helped the pale girl sit up so that the nurse's assistant could take her temperature. "It's hideous."

"I've been telling him for years!" She chimed in. "He really needs to get that checked out." One person seemed to be enjoying Sai's company at least.

"Hey shut up Temari." Kankuro turned back to Sai with a sarcastic smile. "You know, you might want to take your own advice- maybe dare to venture out into the sun once in a while."

"I have sensitive sk-"

"Good news! Your temperature's normal," Sakura, paying no attention to their conversation, clapped her hands in congratulations and held out the thermometer for proof, almost dropping it. "Whoops," she giggled before continuing in a slightly more serious tone. "It was probably just a little dizzy spell- someone came in like that last week." She patted Hinata's shoulder for emphasis.

Sai stared at her, annoyed at being interrupted. "Old hags shouldn't talk so much, it draws attention to their appearance."

Sakura looked around as if just noticing him. "Uh, excuse me? Trying to take care of a sick person here-"

"_'Trying_' being the operative word. Keep your day job, you're terrible at pretending to be a nurse."

Temari mouthed the word 'burn' to the semi-conscious Hinata but Sakura was too busy glaring acidly at Sai to notice. "For your information, I _am_ practically a nurse- like for all intents and purposes. I've seen the inside of an OR room more times than the real one!"

"So you admit that you're a fake?"

Sakura looked as if she might strange him. "Shouldn't you be off hiding in a closet somewhere?"

"You might take your own advice, do the world a favour."

"Hey, that's what I said!" Kankuro looked offended that Sai would try and pass off a comeback he'd said less than two minutes ago as his own, but quailed when Sakura turned her anger on him instead.

"You!"

"No, I meant the 'take your own'-"

"Out! Get out! My patient needs rest, get out now or I'm calling the school police!"

Kankuro muttered something about the school not even having its own police squad, but followed Sai to the door anyway. He didn't notice that Temari wasn't with them until the door slammed shut and he was watching the two girls talking animatedly over Hinata, who seemed to be trying to say something. _Pfft. Women._ Well that was fine, he preferred hanging out with guys anyway.

"Now what?" Sai asked amusedly, leaning against the wall.

_Not with him..._

**/POV/**

"To the left- no, no, your _other_ left!" God, did no one understand basic directions in this place?

Deidara glared at him fiercely, but one look from Pain made him bite back a colourful retort.

_I saw that..._ Sasuke had to stop himself from rolling his eyes in exasperation. The girlish blond boy (honestly, long hair did _not_ suit him, it just made it look like he was trying to hard, which Sasuke totally knew he was) had done his best to be a nuissance from the moment he'd arrived in the Uchiha-Sabaku dorm, first complaining that the desk fragments were heavy, then that they were cutting him with their sharp edges, and now he couldn't even navigate himself through a simple door.

"Hold it up more, you're going to drop it!" Sasuke scolded, much as he'd been forced to do several times before. The sickly, blue-looking boy opposite the blond made a face but still shifted the weight in his hands, trying to get a better grip. Sasuke couldn't decide whether this one was depressed or just moody.

"Argh! FU-" Deidara swore angrily, pulling his foot out from where the desk had fallen on it. "-cking watch what you're doin'! yeah."

"I did tell you..." Sasuke muttered under his breath, not quite loud enough for the other boys to hear him. He wasn't suicidal.

"Yo, carry it better, would you? I'm doin' all the work over he-"

Perhaps just moody then- depressed people generally didn't have enough energy to bare their sharp little teeth like that. The image of a Great White shark rose unbidden to Sasuke's mind and he had to suppress a smirk.

"Me? yeah- no, I mean, it wasn't my fault!"

"Uh, 'yeah', it was. Pick it up already." Kisame nodded at what was left of the polished wood surface. "-it, we been doin' this for long enough."

They certainly had, Sasuke silently agreed. It had been a good thirty minutes of slow progress since the delinquents had arrived to carry away the evidence. This on top of the additional fifteen minutes it had taken Sasuke to negotiate a price had Sasuke wondering nervously when Gaara would be back. He really had no explanation as to why the dregs of the school were making off the mangled remains of the other boy's writing desk, however much he'd tried to come up with one.

**/POV/**

"How strange and unprecedented!" Danzo exclaimed to no one in particular.

After a beat of relative silence, Kakashi reluctantly asked what he meant by that. Chatter had died down during the second course but more than trying to include the lonely old man in the conversation, he wanted Kurenai and Asuma to stop accidentally playing footsie with him. Maybe a little crazy talk would distract them...

"Why my dear fellow colleague," Danzo breathed, clutching at Kakshi's arm to the genuine surprise of the other diners, as it was well known within the office that Danzo criticized the silver-haired man under his breath at every possible opportunity, even suggesting that there be a financial penalty for those who regularly arrived to their respective classes late, a group of which Kakashi was the only member. "That our good principal has not come to share in the festivities!"

Shizune stole another covert glance at the door. She'd known it to be only a matter of time before someone pointed out Tsunade's absence, but had been dreading it still. She knew her concern over Tonton would have to wait for dinner to be over, but if the principal had been there, perhaps she could have skipped out early to continue her search. For now she would just have to assume that the little piggy was safe somewhere to prevent herself going crazy.

"Oh, I'm sorry- I thought everyone knew." Shizune explained non-chalantly, praying that the other teachers and especially the board members would believe her. "She has an important engagement this evening- sympathetic personal reasons." She looked around the table innocently, noting that many of the other diners seemed to want to pretend that they had known about this all along.

"Bu- What?" Danzo spluttered- litterally spluttered his drink all over the tablecloth in front of him. "Tsunade is _where_, exactly?"

Shizune nodded, only slightly worried that some spittle might have landed in her cup. "I'm afraid it's up to her to divulge that information, but I can assure you that she sorely wishes that she could have been here with all of you."

Danzo bristled now that the immediate shock had worn off, "What could be so important that she had to miss dinner with the Head-chairwoman!" and Kakashi felt two pairs of feet retreat to their respective seating arrangements with relief. He had no idea what was up with Tsunade but as long as it wasn't serious, it was alright with him.

"Now now, Danzo, we mustn't pry." The well dresed man smoothed his mustache thoughtfully while Danzo aparently choked on his own muffled scream. "Shizune, you will give Tsunade my best, won't you?"

"Oh! Certainly."

"And-" He looked at the chairwoman imploringly but she was busy plugging her ears to better hear the sobs of the employee she'd been scolding. Her plate of green lentils had hardly been touched "Well, I'm sure Denise sends her regards as well."

Shizune thanked him politely, promising to add his name to an imaginary consolation card, an offer he affably refused at first but a few drinks later, heartily accepted.

Well there was one problem solved.

**/POV/**

Tonton stared wide-eyed at the shiny brass doorknob high above her snout, wondering if she could reach it if she jumped. The room she was in felt a lot smaller than what she was used to and smelled faintly of something like ink. Certainly, it was interesting to chew these sweaters strewn on the ground, but she was starting to miss her real food- not to mention her water dish. The sugary liquid the boy had left her on a lid of some sort had been much too sweet.

Tonton sneezed and her eyes started to water. This whole place smelled rather dusty. The woman Mother called Shi would never have allowed this, everything at home was fresh and clean. She blearily started to trip her way back to the sugary liquid- it was better than nothing, but accidentally knocked over a pile of boxes piled hurriedly by the door. Each one came crashing down with a muffled thud, the last spilling a wide assortment of colourful paper across the carpet. Tonton jumped at the noise but calmed down when nothing else moved. Despite the extra cloud of dust the boxes had spewed, she seemed to be safe.

"Choo."

**/POV/  
**

"Wow!" Naruto smiled appreciatively at the miniature doll house sitting on the big wooden table in the centre of the room. Aside from a single armchair off to one side and a stool, it was the only furniture. "This is so cool, did you make it?" He asked, looking up.

But Itachi didn't answer, wasn't even in the room. The only thing he'd said since they'd entered had been a soft order to 'wait there' before swishing away through the only other door. It was weird that Naruto couldn't even hear him, even though the two rooms had to be really close together. He nodded to himself and turned back to the little chair he'd been playing with, thinking how still the air inside the cabin was. Kind of like the haunted room in the movie he'd seen... It'd turned out to have been the old grandmother's doll that was killing everyone, Naruto remembered, suddenly eyeing the little house with apprehension. Actually, the shadows these dirty windows were casting on the bare floor looked kinda like the figure of that thing stalking... creeping... slashing...

"Heh. Heh." Naruto laughed nervously to Gaara, who was still staring out the window with his arms crossed.

"..."

"Heh..."

"..."

"..."

"Here you are."

"!" Naruto jumped badly at Itachi's voice so close to his ear. No one was that stealthy- he hadn't even heard the door open. "Uh... Itachi?"

"Follow the instructions carefully."

"Right, but I was just wondering..." _How do you ask someone if they're really a ghost?_

"You'll want to get started quickly, the sooner you finish the better."

"Uh huh..." The blond boy absently took the folded paper Itachi was holding out for him. "So..." Time passed. "Uh..."

"Naruto. We should go."

**_X X X X_**

**I'm not updating so quickly, eh?**

**:) Review?**


	15. Really, Chapter 15?

**My story is slow? So is my updating. ^ ^'' **

**...Chapter fifteen :)  
**

**X X X X**

Tsunade groaned at the overly-bright sunlight assaulting her office and wished that she'd thought to close the blinds before passing out at her desk the night before. Why did her office even need so many windows? It was bad enough to have to spend hours wading through a veritable sea of paperwork (approximately two weeks' backlog), the least the universe could do for her was tone it down a little until noon.

Tsunade laid her forehead against the cool wood of her desk. That was better- dark. No one would be in for hours, and then only the small but reliable smattering of teachers who regularly forgot some deadline or other and so were forced to work on the weekends. Poor souls would probably be in next week as well, whereas Tsunade planned to be out with the sane people living it up in town.

Speaking of poor souls... Naruto and Gaara had better be sleeping off a late night of meaningful conversation at this very moment, or she might have to give up on them altogether. Like Dr. Phil said, some people just couldn't be friends no matter how much a wise elder tried to force them. _If that's the case here, then so be it. _Tsunade knocked once on her desk and pushed herself up, peeling off the sticky note that had stuck itself to her cheek.

No more subtly pulling strings! No more childish running around for her assistant (or at least less)! She was a professional, like that woman who'd been on last night! _That was a good episode..._ Anyway, it was time to pay more attention to the important things in life, like... Tsunade crossed her arms in thought. Like her precious students! No, wait... _  
_

**/POV/**

Naruto scratched his head, thinking hard and continued to pace the length of the room.

"Read it again?"**  
**

Gaara rolled back over onto his stomach to better hold the small paper rectangle under the light.

"_'Stamping is expensive; so are antiques._

_Writing letters by hand has never been so old._

_You are the man._**_'_**"

Naruto didn't know why Itachi had been so nervous about giving to them, his riddle had turned out to be kinda hard. Kinda really hard.

It was the Saturday morning after they'd dragged themselves back through the forest, dumped the broom and grocery bag full of dirt at Tsunade's empty office and collapsed into bed where Naruto had fallen asleep almost instantly. Gaara hadn't seemed upset, but Naruto really hoped that his friend didn't mind sharing. He'd been too tired to make it all the way back to his own dorm last night, so instead he'd borrowed half of Gaara's mattress. It had been very interesting to wake up in the same bed...

"Hmm..." Naruto stalled, not quite focusing on the riddle.

"I hope I'm reading this correctly, his handwriting is so spidery."

_Snap out of it man! _Naruto mentally shook his head. "It's gotta be- remember we checked it against that pie chart on the wall with Sasuke's writing and they'd be similar, right? Maybe we have to find an envelope or something, 'cause like 'Stamping', 'letters'..."

"Possibly..." Gaara intoned, frowning. "But wouldn't that be too easy? Unless there's a specific envelope with further directions or something..."

"Hey, yeah!" Naruto looked at his friend eagerly and cushioned a fist with his other hand for emphasis. "Then the rest has got to be a clue to where it's hidden. What's really old around here?"

"Everything in this place has been around for centuries."

"Including the principal!" Naruto grinned, slightly giddy at almost having solved Itachi's riddle, and Gaara half-smiled back. "Aw, c'mon you can do better than that!"

"I can't- my face will crack." Naruto laughed at his serious expression and stopped pacing to sit down next to him. The mattress sunk with his weight, causing Gaara to slide into him.

"-Sorry." Naruto could feel Gaara's hot breath briefly on his cheek.

"Ah, s'cool." He turned his head and coughed to hide his hypersensitivity to their closeness though thankfully he'd already worn out his blushing mechanism for the day.

"Aren't you supposed to be _working_?" An annoyed voice interrupted from across the room, its owner staring at them with narrowed eyes. Sasuke was sitting casually on his own bed, somewhat unusual in itself, back against the wall and biology textbook open in his lap. Naruto had considered asking him for help as they'd all spent the night in the same room, but wasn't sure whether or not it would be considered cheating in the LIW race. Also, the guy was a stupid jerk.

"What, we can't talk about something else for two seconds?" Naruto narrowed his eyes back. "And aren't _you_ supposed to be studying, Mr. Notreadinghisschoolstuff?"

Sasuke raised an eyebrow and asked sardonically if he couldn't stop reading for two seconds, which Naruto responded to by sticking his tongue out at the other boy.

"Oh ho. Aren't you a bit mature for a preschooler?"

"Hah! Reusing comebacks already?"

"I believe in recycling."

"Well if you wanna save the earth, try... Uh. Hmm..."

"Does my desk look different to you? Something about it..."

"You know there's a nice daycare in t-" Sasuke began, but quickly adopted a posture of deliberate nonchalance as he processed what Gaara had just muttered. "Whatever do you mean? It looks as it always does." He was careful to inject just the right amount of matter-of-factness, coupled with a healthy dose of nothing-to-see-here into his voice for a maximum impression of being guilt-free.

"..." Gaara frowned at it.

At what? Its smoother surface, its brass handles instead of silver or its slightly shorter legs?_ Oh god, he knows!_

It had been surprisingly difficult even to find a desk as remotely similar to the original as this one. Apparently the school had refurnished most of the rooms after a small flood had destroyed a good portion of the old furniture.

"Eh, looks the same to me..." Naruto squinted down at it and Sasuke almost forgave him for being an idiot.

"See? Probably just a trick of the light."

**/POV/**

Chester smoothed his moustache contentedly and stared out the window of his expensive hotel room. Denise had caught an early flight back to Toronto, but he thought he might stay a short while longer. After stepping onto Konoha Secondary's grounds for the first time in 30 years, he couldn't bear to leave it again after just one night.

So many memories! Chester began to chuckle, thinking of all the good times he'd had as a student, but it slowly turned into a frown as he remembered the dusty portrait of the school's founder (irreverent!) and the skateboard on the front steps (dangerous!). That was'nt even to mention the empty wrappers in the hallways or the dreadful way those students Danzo had pointed out had rolled up the sleeves of their uniforms. His beloved school was going to the dogs and it was his duty as vice-chairman of the board to fix it!

**/POV/**

"Looking for something?" Kakashi asked after a pause, watching Shizune dig furiously through the dumpsters behind the school administrative buildings.

"Ah!" She yelped and dropped the cardboard box she'd just finished with. "Kakashi!"

"Yo." The silver haired man held up a hand in greeting and sauntered closer. "So is there something in particular you're trying to find? Or someone..."

Shizune's eyes widened and she giggled nervously to hide her discomfort. "Why, it sounds as if you think there's a person in the dumpster!"

"Not a person, no... There probably isn't enough room in there."

_Oh my, oh dear- what is he insinuating!_ "Heh heh, you're right! There's no room in there for anything. Now, If you'll excuse me..." She started to powerwalk away but froze at what Kakashi said next.

"I haven't seen Tonton anywhere,"

"!" _Ahhhhhhhhh-_

"-but I thought I should tell you that I'll be keeping an eye out for her as well." And with that Kakashi made his way towards the teachers' office where he still had a few documents to write up. Shizune, meanwhile, stared after him in shock. How on earth could he have known! Unless... Tsunade wasn't married and she had always been very lenient with Kakashi- any other principal would have told him off on no uncertain terms for being late all the time. Could they possibly be dating?

Shizune covered her mouth with her hand having momentarily forgetten where it had been, but quickly withdrew it, pausing in her thoughts to spit and wipe her lips with her sleeve.

*cough* The principal is dating a teacher! *hack*

**/POV/**

Danzo wrung his hands miserably from where he was hunched over on one of the stylish benches in the courtyard. Something had gone horribly wrong last night- no one had been fired, not even Kakashi! Could Shizune have possibly been lying when she said Tsunade had known about the dinner? No, surely not. The other teachers had simply nodded- she must have sent everyone an email but me! That wench!

Well I have more than one trick up my sleeve. The board members will be long gone by now, but they're not the only ones with the power to remove a principal from office. "Ha ha ha!" Danzo suddenly threw his head back and laughed deeply, badly startling the pair of girls who'd been passing by.

**/POV/**

Kakashi sneezed into his handkerchief, and wondered why it was so cold on this floor. Iruka looked up from his own desk and softly told him 'god bless you'. Good old Iruka. He was a very nice man, kind, good-looking- always had been. Kakashi could still picture him as a boy from their time as roommates in this very school. He'd made a very conscientious class president, even if he was a bit of a pushover- never complaining about or reporting the other students when they would skip out on cleaning duties.

Kakashi smiled, Tsunade and Jiraiya too. They'd been his seniors so all he'd really known about them was that they hung out in a group of three with that boy everyone had picked on- Orochimaru if he remembered correctly. Greasy black hair and an unfortunate lisp made for an easy target, Kakashi thought sadly. Kids could be so cruel.

**X X X X**

**Thanks for reviewing****, you guys are awesome :D**

**EchoUchiha- I've been thinking about it and I don't think I want to give Struggle away. It was my first, and it may live yet! :(**


	16. Chapter 6Tn

**It's goin' down!**

**Sort of!  
**

**...Chapter sixteen :)  
**

**X X X X**

"Ugh, what a mess." Temari wrinkled her nose in distaste but Sasuke barely heard her over the sudden roaring sound in his ears. Who could possibly think of nodding in agreement when his legs were in danger of buckling? When he was desperately latching onto the doorframe for support? It was all Sasuke could do to keep himself from screaming.

The Uchiha-Sabaku dorm room was in pieces! No, not pieces, shambles! Horrible, horrible shambles! Shelves stood lopsided and emptied, scraps of paper and miscellaneous debris littered the floor, bookcases laid tipped over on their sides and crumbs everywhere! Temari wandered over to the wall clock, now cracked and lying face down on the floor beneath its nail.

"Damn..."

Sasuke left his bookbag with a thump and shakily took it from her.

"This... What? And..." His voice came out as a strangled cry as he looked around at the wreckage of the room. He'd been gone for barely fifteen minutes! Granted, he'd intended to return immediately and may have left the door somewhat ajar, but _this_? No fight with a faulty vending machine was worth _this_! Not even when he was obviously in the right (_Pay double for a bag of chips? I don't think so!_).

"I can't believe it's already six..." Temari muttered quietly to herself, momentarily distracted. After meeting Sakura on Saturday they'd been hanging out all weekend, though they'd mostly just looked after Hinata (despite her protests) and made fun of Kankuro (always fun). Now they were supposed to meet for a movie at the theatre around seven, and Temari had decided to drag Gaara along as well. Every time the two of them hung out puppet boy had a way of showing up, and she thought it might make a nice change if she wasn't bickering the entire time that they were together. "What happened?" Temari asked Sasuke more loudly.

He merely shook his head in answer- too dismayed to speak, and began to tidy up as best he could. Now that the clock was back on the wall and the dirty handprints on his comforter had been brushed off, the situation didn't look quite so dire.

Oh god, who was he kidding? _The world is coming to an end!_ Whoever had done this was going to pay dearly!

"Here-" Temari began to gather up the scraps on the floor, taking in the damage. Sasuke seemed to be coping quite well considering his concern with neatness and order bordered on obsession, but she was seething inside.

Temari didn't know who had done this to her little brother and his friend's room but she was going to find out and when she did, they would be regretting that they'd ever so much as stepped foot in this school! She guaranteed it.

Were those teeth marks?

**/POV/**

"Bad." Sai whispered to the pig under his arm, checking to see that the coast was clear before rounding the hallway corner. Tonton tried weakly to wriggle free, snorting happily.

She must be fairly tired, he mused wrlyly, his face oddly still (he never had been very good at expressing emotion, though bringing it out in other people never ceased to amuse him), after somehow escaping from his dorm to run amuck two floors down. She'd certainly been hard to catch, faking right and going left, disappearing just when he'd thought he knew where she was going next. Sai didn't know what poor sap's room he'd found her in, but he didn't envy them having to clean up that mess. Most of the biscuits he'd brought as a bribe had ended up ground into the carpet after he'd accidentally stepped on them trying to corner Tonton, the rest abandoned after she'd gotten bored with them half-way through. Well, he supposed he could have stayed to help, but...

Snort! Yes, he had to get Tonton back before anyone noticed she'd been out...

Sai paused, listening to the set of familiar voices not far ahead. Perhaps he would join them in a little bit, after he poured Tonton some of the cat food he'd smuggled from Danzo's apartment (Fifi'd had a fit when he took it out and torn up the bottom of his pant leg with her claws. Skidding and sliding after Tonton hadn't helped matters either- he now looked as if he'd been through an oversized paper-shredder). Tonton didn't seem to like juice and he couldn't get enough table scraps to feed her, so she'd better eat it. That and use the litterbox Sai had taken with him. Surely she was trained, how else could Shizune have kept the pig in her apartment?

**/POV/**

"Don't you have anything better to do? No homework? No practice?" Kankuro knew he must sound rude, but he really hadn't been in the best mood to begin with. Sai had found him in the breakfast hall that morning and, after inviting himself to sit down, had proceeded to tell Kankuro everything that was wrong with him. Apparently, he was hideous, dimwitted and uncouth. Sai had gone into much greater detail but Kankuro had been rather busy blocking out the sound of the overly pale boy's voice. Even switching tables hadn't worked, the evil little ghost had just followed him and Kankuro was pretty sure his friends thought the kid was his stalker. Either that or that he was being possessed.

"Finished it last night- no biggie, and we only have soccer during the week." Kiba explained briefly before returning to his monologue. "Anyway, she's really pretty so I like her, as like, more than a friend. And she's a girl, so you know." Now Kankuro was being followed by this guy, who had seemed pretty cool before but now couldn't seem to shut up. "My friend who's not a girl, I don't like like that, you know? Yeah. I'm straight."

"Good for you..." Kankuro muttered, wondering with no trace of irony how anyone could be so oblivious to the fact that he was boring his audience to death. Kiba told him some more how pretty Hinata was, though he never used her name in a vain attempt at privacy (_first off, why tell me at all if you don't want me to know who? second, how many shy asian girls with pale eyes do we know?_), but thankfully soon fell silent. Kankuro didn't bother to find out why, just enjoyed the peace and quiet. They would be at the art room soon and Kankuro would get the glue he needed and then he could give Elizabetha her hair. She was going to be so happy!

Temari didn't need to know that he talked to his precious creations as if the were real.

**/POV/**

"Oh! How about this?" Naruto held up something like a small sword. "I think it's a letter opener- you know, 'letters'?"

Gaara tilted his head curiously, inspecting it. "Okay, put it in the box?"

"Yup." Naruto replied happily. This whole race thing was pretty fun now that the sweeping was over. He and his good friend had spent the morning searching the school for an old envelope and having breakfast with Shikamaru and Choji. Naruto had been a bit dissapointed that Kiba hadn't shown up as well, but he was probably busy or something. They did have that English essay to write- oh crap, the essay! Oh well, he could do it tonight.

Naruto stared into the box at all the old-looking writing supplies and paper they'd found, wondering if there was space. Though they'd tried all through breakfast, none of them had come up with a single breakthrough- not even resident genius Shikamaru. With nothing better to go on, they figured they might as well gather up anything that looked remotely plausible and decide what to hand in later. Tsunade hadn't actually specified to them when the race would be over, but they were assuming she wanted it before Monday. Gaara had suggested that maybe they were supposed to bring it to Itachi instead, but Naruto agreed with Choji, two serious hikes through the forest would be a bit excessive. Even Shikamaru had said it was unlikely. Gaara had just shrugged but Naruto still felt kinda bad that they'd all sort of ganged up on him. Naruto knew what it felt like to be the outcast from grade school and he certainly didn't want to inflict that upon one of his favourite people.

"Is it full?" Gaara was looking at him and Naruto realized he'd just been staring at nothing for two minutes.

"Ah- Heh heh, sorry- just thinking about the riddle. Uh-" Naruto could feel the cogs in his brain turning at top speed again. He spaced out way too much in front of Gaara! "-'You are the man', that could mean like 'mailman', eh?" It had just been the first thing he could think of but Gaara was nodding thoughtfully.

"You're right, that would make sense with 'letters'. We're acting as mailmen by delivering an old letter..."

"So..." Naruto looked at the object that was still in his hand. "We _shouldn't_ bring the opener then?" Gaara shrugged and Naruto tossed it back into the open filing cabinet where he'd gotten it, grinning to himself. He'd solved half the riddle without even meaning to! Sort of. Was Gaara impressed?

"C'mon, let's head back. We probably have enough here. Ah- I've got it." Naruto motioned for Gaara to go ahead, holding the heavy box as if it weighed nothing at all. But as soon as the beautiful redhead disappeared from view Naruto leant it against the wall to catch his breath. Man, how could paper be this heavy? He shook his head and prepared himself to look strong.

Out in the hallway, he tried to wave to Kiba and Kankuro, happy to see them, but managed little more than a smile and a wriggle of his fingers in their general direction. Anything more and he would've dropped the stupid box.

"Are you sure you don't want help with that?"

**/POV/**

"What's that?" Temari asked, looking up from where she was plugging in the vacuum cleaner Ms. Math-teacher-turned-assistant-janitor had given her to use. Jiraiya had come back to teaching a week or so ago, but the substitute had been so despondent about leaving that Tsunade had offered her her new position. The woman was rather unfeminine, but nice all the same. Temari had always agreed with the school's policy of students cleaning up after themselves, but after hearing the many horror stories about the principal making people use toothbrushes to get stains out of the carpet ('tough love'), the vacuum cleaner felt like a stroke of luck.

Sasuke hadn't been particularly responsive since she'd arrived, and he seemed to want to keep it up- still not answering her, just staring at the navy blue threads in his hand.

Temari was about to turn back to cleaning when a realization struck her. "Hey, that could be from the culprit!" Vacuum momentarily forgotten, she crawled over to where Sasuke was kneeling and examined it with him. "The colour of our school uniform... I suppose it doesn't actually help very much." Temari sighed quietly, about to crawl back when Sasuke spoke in a voice like some sacred messiah delivering his ten commandments.

"Ripped pants! Quick, we have to find someone with ripped pant legs!" He rose jerkily and strode towards the door, motioning for her to follow. "They'll be rushing off to change, but they can't have gotten far!"

"But- what about the..." Temari trailed off as it was obvious that Sasuke wasn't listening. "O-kay... I guess we'll get back to it." She adjusted her pony tails and let herself out, not bothering to lock the door. What was left to preserve?

**X X X X**

**Is it down yet? **

**I swear romantic situations are coming up... soon (- . -)'' **


	17. Chapter 7teen :

**I just realized that the beginning of chapter six doesn't make any sense ( -/\ - )' -sorry about that!**

**Their ages should be younger too, if Temari is two years their senior... Oy vey  
**

**Well... Chapter seventeen :)  
**

**X X X X**

"Shizune, you look awful!" Tsunade exclaimed, craning her neck to get a better look at her secretary's haggard face.

Shizune's eyes had been closed but slowly creaked open to look at her boss almost shyly. Now was the time. She'd thought it over and over the night before and she could think of nothing but to tell Tsunade that Tonton was gone. Just get it over with. That is, if secret-boyfriend Kakashi had not done so already. _No... _Shizune was almost certain that he hadn't, if the principal's non-murderous good humour was anything to go by (either due to laziness, or in concern for his girlfriend's feelings- she had settled on the latter, figuring that she may as well give him the benefit of the doubt), but there was still a small hope that she could feel herself holding on to.

Tsunade had been refolding her arms in scrutiny, oblivious to Shizune's inner turmoil, but suddenly clapped her hands together in realization. "Had a little too much last night, eh?" She grinned.

"No-" _Why did Tonton have to go missing? Why!_

"Ha ha! It's quite alright. You probably don't know this, but even _I_ occasionally dabble in the fine art of drinking to excess."

"Tsunade-"

"Why are you in on a Saturday anyway? I thought you were one of the conscientious ones." Tsunade lightly punched her shoulder, still smiling like a proud parent. "What did you forget?"

Shizune took a deep breath, preparing herself to speak calmly and clearly- "TontonisgoneandIdon'!"- but it all came out in one jumbled mess anyway.

Tsunade went still and Shizune supposed that she'd understood anyway. "... What?"

**/POV/**

"You!" Sasuke seized upon the first person he saw. _A likely suspect!_ The Uzumaki-Inuzaka dorm was a notorious (among Uchiha and Hyuuga) pig sty.

"Eh..." Naruto wheezed, shifting the heavy box in his arms (perhaps he should have let Gaara help after all). As was his custom, Sasuke did not answer but briskly closed the distance between them to better examine the other boy's pant leg.

"What are you..."

"Aha!" Sasuke kneeled and roughly grabbed Naruto's ankle, holding out the ripped and tattered fabric. "I knew it! I'm going to fu-"

"Sasuke!" Temari yelled, now running to catch up to them. Whatever Naruto was holding was swaying dangerously in his hands while he hopped on one foot in a brave attempt at staying upright. "Stop it, you don't have any evidence!" She tried to loosen the furious Uchiha's grip on Naruto's pants, feeling slightly shocked that someone so reserved would be capable of such an outburst. Even Gaara had come forward to hold his friend steady and remove the box to safety. "Oh! Gaara, you're free right now? Come hang out in town with us."

"...?"_ I'll take that as a yes._

"-cking kill you!" Meanwhile, Sasuke wasn't listening, too busy comparing the colour of the thread from the floor to the fraying ends of Naruto's trousers. "They're identical! Admit it!"

After spending so long with the Uchiha, Temari could feel her annoyance building up. "Of course they are, you fool, everyone here is wearing the exact same colour!" Was he literally blinded with rage?

"Hey, quit it! You want me to drop this on your head?" Naruto tried to swat Sasuke's hand away. "Really Gaara-" He switched to a gentler but still outwardly confident tone. "I can take it, it's fine." He wasn't about to give up when the room was so close by!

"You're about to fall."

"This is clearly the source of the thread, no one else-"

"No really, I'm good-" Naruto continued to say, but he wasn't good. He was falling and the intensely focused raven haired boy at his knees was falling with him.

**/POV/**

Itachi could feel his pulse racing. Not because he was frightened- what was there to be afraid of in his little brother's dorm room (even if it did resemble the wreckage of a recent bombing)? What he felt was the anticipation of discovery running keenly through his veins. Even so, Itachi's Uchiha senses continued to drag his eyes across the semi-dirty floor, the highly obvious crack across the face of the wall clock. What self-respecting Uchiha could possibly bear...

But he had work to do. He could find and punish the culprit (first suspect to rule out: Sasuke's roommate) later, right now he had to find those letters once and for all. Whatever was going on in the hallway was none of his concern. That poor man had been hiding in that tiny, barely hospitable cabin for long enough. Itachi simply could not let it fall to chance that the blond and the redhead would solve the mystery of their whereabouts for him- even if the riddle he'd given them _had_ been painfully obvious.

Among the anthology of wistfull stories Orochimaru had read to them about his ill-spent youth in his own days at this academy, had been one where he locked his undelivered love letters in his old writing desk. There they must surely have stayed even to this day, 30 years later (Orochimaru had engineered that drawer to be impossible to break into)- the object of his affection, the current principal and Orochimaru's former close friend, tragically unaware of his feelings. If only he hadn't been too nervous to return her occasional calls, enquiring after his health! If only he hadn't fallen into that vicious cycle of stalking her facebook profile under a false name and crying himself to sleep at night!

But now Orochimaru had rallied his spirits and returned to the place they had shared so long ago to confess his feelings once and for all. What better way to demonstrate his undying love than with the letters he'd tenderly written back when they were mere teens?

It was a lost-love story of tragic proportions!

The only problem was that they didn't actually have the letters- Itachi did however have a brother who just happened to have been given the very same room in which Orochimaru had lived. Through Kabuto's extensive interview-based research they had determined that the desk in which the letters must still be stashed had remained in the same place even through the great flood of the last decade- a sign of favour from benevolent gods?

There were only two desks in this room, but Itachi knew he had to work fast if he didn't want to be caught and the rumour of Orochimaru's return reach Tsunade before the man had a chance to confess on his own.

The older Uchiha took a deep, calming breath and stepped toward the repaired order of his brother's desk. _Here goes nothing..._

**/POV/**

It took a long moment for Naruto to fully comprehend the situation he was in. The warmth he could feel of the body beneath his (even through their clothes) was familiar, but unlike being in a windowless closet with Gaara, there was plenty of light here for everyone to see his blush. A familiar feeling but at the same time different... more intense.

Even so, the compromising position of Sasuke's hand against his chest or the entanglement of their legs was less on Naruto's mind than the feel of his lips against those of the dark haired boy's on top of him. The unexpected softness... and he was so close to that pale skin which reminded him of Gaara's- or was it that Gaara's skin reminded him of Sasuke's? Naruto's head was spinning in more ways than one.

Sasuke's mind was equally blurry- the only coherent thought he could form was that Naruto's eyes were unexpectedly blue. A beautiful sort of colour...

"Oh my..." Temari could feel a small blush creeping across her own face. "Uh- C'mon Gaara, we'll miss the movie!"

"...?" Her little brother was apparently fascinated by the scene in front of them and was proving difficult to move, despite Temari's tugs.

Her voice did however break the shocked trance the two boys on the floor had been in so deeply. Naruto suddenly threw himself to the side as if he'd been laying in radioactive waste and coughed dramatically. Sasuke leapt up, a look of almost-real horror on his face and did the same. Neither found it difficult to lob obscenities at one another in between hacks, but soon they had both run off to find a bathroom in which to rinse their mouths, not seeming to notice that they were headed for the same one.

"Well then..." Temari watched the two boys go, wondering if Naruto had really just kissed Sasuke- and blushed! "We'd uh- better get going." Sasuke had stared at him for an awful long time before doing anything too... Could they be?

This time Temari was able to direct her little brother out of the school and down the student-made escape route into town (via a certain rusted out section of the school fence as Tsunade didn't approve of students leaving the grounds). She had a feeling that they might have a lot to talk about.

**/POV/**

The pig snorted happily at the pale boy's feet, sniffing at the familiar carpet.

Sai sighed, patting Tonton on the head. "Glad to be home, are you?"

They'd been doing alright until Sai's gluttonous roommate had found hoove tracks all over his pillow and freaked out, something about accomplices and being expelled. Tonton had hardly chewed anything of his and nothing important had been damaged by that water spill, Fatty must have an anger problem or something...

For god's sake, he'd forced Sai to promise to remove his new pet or risk it being eaten. Savage.

Shizune's apartment had been as easy to break into a second time as it had been the first- apparently some people never learned. Sai figured that if he was going to return Tonton, he may as well be rewarded for 'finding' her, and bringing her back in secret. Not that there was a single person at _Konoha Secondary_ that didn't already know about the principal's pet, just like there wasn't a single person that didn't know that the principal and her assistant still thought it was a secret.

Sai looked at the adorable animal which had been his companion ever since yesterday._ They'd better be grateful..._

**/POV/**

"Get your own freaking bathroom." Sasuke glared at the blond boy at the sink beside his, having just finished gargling like he'd swallowed some horrible poison.

Naruto spit out a mouthful of water, which, Sasuke reluctantly noted, really brought out the luscious red colour of his lips. "What? Now the mighty Uchiha can't even swear? You doing it pretty well five seconds ago."

"I always knew you couldn't tell time, but it's been minutes, not seconds."

"That's not a defense-"

"Well obviously to intelligent people, what you asked was a rhetorical question."

"Pfft. If it was so rhetorical, why'd you even answer in the first place? _Intelligent people_," Naruto narrowed his eyes at Sasuke's image in the bathroom mirror. "Don't pick petty fights."

"Where are you learning all these words?" Sasuke in turn pretended to be surprised. "6th grade vocabulary sheets?"

On impulse, as it was the only thing on his mind, Naruto countered with, "Hey, you're the one that kissed _me_."

"I-" Sasuke started to choke on his own words but quickly regained his composure. "I beg your pardon!"

"Now you're begging? I didn't know you were that kind of person..." Naruto's reflection smirked.

"You trash my dormroom and now you have the gall to taunt me about an accident that _you_ caused?" Sasuke glared furiously.

"Yeah, well- eh?"

**/POV/  
**

"Tsunade..."

"No talking."

"... I'm sorry." Shizune whispered for the umpteenth time that evening.

"..."

"Keep digging." But they'd been digging through the dumpsters (which Shizune had already done the day before) for over an hour already with no luck. Why would Tonton even return here? She ate premium corn meal and sautéed vegetables, not garbage. But everytime Shizune tried to speak, Tsunade shut her down. She couldn't wait to get home and just sleep...

**X X X X**

**Does that count as romance? Eh... it'll do for now.  
**

**Only a couple more chapters ^ ^**

**But I'm going someplace for a couple days so next update will be even slower than usual ^ ^'  
**


	18. Chapter aeteen :

**Got back later than expected, then Ff wouldn't let me edit anything.** \(- n -)'/

**Thanks to EchoUchiha though, I'm now able to post this chapter :D  
**

**In case anyone's still interested ^ ^;  
**

**Mais bien que** **miséreuse...****  
**

**... Chapter eighteen :)  
**

**X X X X**

"Well that's not so bad- when you said 'trashed' I figured it would be a bit more..." Naruto made an explosion motion with his arms. "Like that."

Sasuke had gone quiet again, something Gaara did all the time so the blond was pretty well used to it. Seriously, Naruto was seeing more and more parrallels between the- well, beautiful (_are guys allowed to be beautiful? I refuse to say he's handsome, even in my own thoughts. wait..._) jerk and his best friend. Or was Kiba his best friend? It didn't seem right that he had to choose, they could both be his best friend.

Sasuke's room really didn't look much different from when Naruto had hung out there before, but he'd decided to play it safe after the two of them had started to become a little more civil towards each other. Well, they had stopped fighting in the bathroom, and that had to count for something.

"I mean you could get a new clock if you really wanted to, right?" Naruto searched the room for something else to comment on. "And, uh- that stuff'll probably come out of the carpet no problem."

A flash of what might have been annoyance crossed Sasuke's face but he was still staring hard straight ahead so it was kinda hard to tell. "Your eyesight is clearly as poor as your intellect." Yeah, Naruto was pretty sure it'd been annoyance. "That 'stuff' is the pattern- it's perfectly clean!" Sasuke seemed to be in a sort of daze, leaning slightly to the left as if he couldn't support his own weight anymore. "Even the walls... that impossible stain- I scrubbed for weeks to no avail and now it's gone... gone..." Sasuke reached out a hand to steady himself but met nothing but air.

"Uh... Are you okay!" Naruto thought the guy might have fallen again had he not grabbed his arm just in time. "Maybe we should go see the nurse or something?" Sasuke had been acting strangely for a while now, even for Sasuke. Could swaying unsteadily on your feet be an indication of a concussion? Or maybe the shock of kissing another guy had loosened a screw somewhere?

Sasuke leant gratefully on his arm- in his arms?- for a moment before apparently coming to his senses, abruptly shaking his head and pushing himself away.

"Ahem. Well I suppose you're off the hook. You may now leave."

"Eh?" If Sasuke was now a mental patient, Naruto couldn't in good conscience just leave him here.

Sasuke rolled his eyes at his blond companion like the boy was an idiot, which Naruto thought was pretty unjustified considering _he_ was the one being weird. Plus he hadn't even answered about whether they should go see the nurse or not- Naruto was thinking 'yes'. "Of course, I only brought you here on suspicion of your being the culprit. Now that the evidence of the crime had been disposed of I have nothing to keep you. Not that I would particularly want to either way." The last he added as an afterthought, hurriedly amending what almost sounded like a request for the blond to stay, something Sasuke could assure him was most certainly not the case. _Well..._ No! Not even a little bit.

"I told you, my pants got ripped up from walking through the bush!" Naruto said indignantly, having stopped listening after 'culprit'. Clearing his name was more important, especially when what he was being accused of was ridiculous. He'd been unjustly blamed enough for a lifetime in gradeschool (putting the occasional tack on the cranky old tyrant's chair did not also make him the one who'd flown the man's wig on the flagpole). They pretended to be understanding, 'Now Naruto, I know it must be hard dealing with your parents' death, but...', but it was just amateur psychologist dribble to preface putting him in detention. What did they know? They hadn't been there when Mr. and Mrs. Uzumaki had died in that car crash. In fact, what did he know? He couldn't even remember their faces.

"The bush! There's thorns!" Naruto said again with renewed vigour.

"And I told _you_, that there is no 'bush' on the designated trail which you claim to have walked." _Because he's an idiot._ Sasuke narrowed his eyes over newly crossed arms, looking at the boy whose childhood he assumed to be as carefree and joyous as that of their peers. Certainly the blond had never had to deal with overly demanding parents, indifferent to whatever pain or sadness they caused him. 'If this grade is not an A plus by June...' 'Never ever disgrace this family like that again. Second place is unacceptable.' 'I'm disappointed in you Sasuke. Why can't you be more like your brother?' _Hn._

"It was a different one! You can't even see it unless you go way around-"

"Yes, very convenient. A secret trail to provide your alibi."

"It's true!"

**/POV/**

Itachi stared frowningly at the faded brown paper in his hands. It would be wrong to read Orochimaru's innermost thoughts, even after speed-cleaning for a half hour just to get to it (for whatever reason it had been tucked beneath Sasuke's mattress). He couldn't invade the poor man's privacy like that.

But then... Itachi remembered the disappointment he'd faced after neither desk had yielded anything useful. It had taken great inner strength to remain in that room for any longer than expected (hopefully after Sasuke vacuumed a few more times and washed the windows twice, the place would be a bit more bearable). Great inner strength and determination... Surely that was worth a tiny peek...

Itachi hesitated for a brief moment but made up for this by reading the ancient love letters extremely quickly, then again for good measure. It was a good thing he'd hidden himself away in the courtyard to do so- he could feel heat across his face and was probably blushing. Orochimaru had apparently had a very active imagination. Itachi supposed it was fairly normal for a hormonal teenager to be interested in sex, but hardly a line went by that didn't include explicit profanity and descriptions of physical love. Not exactly the chaste devotion Itachi had previously imagined.

No wonder Orochimaru had been so desperate to retrieve it- if Ms. Tsunade ever read this letter, any possibility of her reciprocating his feelings would surely be squashed. Squashed like the pumpkin Orochimaru had erotically alluded to in paragraph four.

**/POV/**

"Young man, could you perhaps escort me to the auditorium? I'm afraid I've forgotten after all these years." Chester chuckled good naturedly. This student wore his uniform as crisply and as proudly as he himself had done 30 years ago. Chester may have had thick coke-bottle glasses and a bad case of acne, but he thought he could really see himself in this shining example of_ Konoha Secondary_'s finest.

"Ah- certainly. Please follow me." Neji had no idea who this man was or why he was laughing, but as a Hyuuga he planned to be highly respectful all the same.

"Just a moment, just a moment." The man chuckled some more while removing a small digital camera from the lapel of his coat to snap a picture of the painting hanging somewhat crookedly on the wall beside them. If he was going to propose Tsunade's removal, or at the very least a harsh reprimand, then he was going to need indisputable evidence. "There we are." He smiled brightly and nodded for Neji to go ahead.

_O-kay... _Neji mentally sweatdropped but merely inclined his own head and began to walk._  
_

**/POV/**

Danzo rubbed his hands together with glee, occasionally giggling in a high-pitched voice to himself, apparently absorbed in whatever he was thinking. Kiba watched him for a while from the opposite end of the gym where he'd been kicking a ball at the wall before shaking his head and returning to his game. Naruto used to do this with him... back when they were close buddies. Kiba shook his head again, more fiercely. They still _were_ close buddies- he just needed a little time to think, that was all.

"Hehe!"

...the hell was the old guy doing over there anyway? Kiba looked over again, taking care not to be too obvious, but everyone's least favourite biology teacher was too busy feeling up the wall to notice anything else. He ran his dry, cracked hands over the painted brick like he was prospecting for gold or something equally valuable. Apparently he found what he'd been looked for because he let out another hoot of laughter and bounced on his heels in a manner that reminded Kiba of his baby cousin. _Whatever..._ Kiba had again turned back to the wall when he heard a faint sound like a snort.

**/POVl  
**

"Y-yes?" Hinata cursed her ridiculous stutter, a habit she'd been trying very earnestly to break since childhood- what if it enraged him somehow? What if that Dmitri boy's only provocation had been a badly timed sneeze? Beaten to within an inch of his life Sakura had said... _Oh god Hinata, breathe._

"..."_  
_

Gaara had been staring at her for almost the entire movie (_whywhywhywhywhy_), but she hadn't been able to get up the nerve to call him out on it until now. That is, now that they were once again standing in the bright lights of the foyer and Sakura and Temari were safely at her side, even if they were engrossed in their own conversation (that girl is so annoying/oh! I _know_, it's like her voice/_ugh_).

Hinata raised her head tentatively to check if he was still staring. He was. Why the creepy silence? Had she done something to offend him? Is that why he'd been staring at her with that same emotionless expression all this time? Was he angry because she hadn't offered him any popcorn? He told Temari he didn't want anything! How was she supposed to have known? Or was it because she'd gone into the theatre before him? It had almost looked like he was holding the door open for her but what if he'd just been waiting and she'd cut him off? _Oh god, stay calm._

Hinata felt mean for thinking it, but she kind of wished that Temari hadn't brought him.

(you know she totally likes Melvin/ohmygosh really? haha! lets say something on her wall/I defriended her/oh why?)

Okay. Okay. Maybe it's nothing, maybe he just happened to have been staring at something past me. There might've been a painting on the wall- no, not in the theatre. Hinata bit her bottom lip. Then those lights- they had looked pretty interesting, in fact, she was quite sure that she had heard somewhere that they had been crafted by a rising local artist. Yes, that made sense. Gaara hadn't been staring at her at all so she should just ignore him. She had almost succeeded when Gaara's voice startled her out of her whirling thoughts, apparently having just decided to answer.

"You look just like your cousin."

**X X X X**

**I'm getting rather bored with it :/**

**This plot is taking so long to wrap up  
**


	19. Chapter neinteen :

**Naw, I wouldn't leave you guys hanging, but the end _is_ near ;)**

**Actually there are still a number of chapters left- but it's a small number! Oh yes.  
**

**... Chapter nineteen :)**

**X X X X**

"If the sky... that we look upon... should tumb-le and fall, or the mountains... should crumb-le... to the sea." Chester sang to himself, wistfully running a hand across the same bricks Danzo had been at only a few moments before. "Stand by me... Stand by me..." He wiped away what might have been a tear. Seeing him, Neji offered the man a handkerchief which was enthusiastically accepted with shouts of "Quite right, my boy! Quite right!". Chester blew his nose with a loud honk. "We really knew how to get 'em, didn't we? Quite right!" Now he was definitely crying.

Kiba, who had long forgotten any subtlety in staring at all these weirdos, was now leaning against the wall behind staring straight at them.

Danzo had run off the second the old guy had appeared, that stuck up kid who always hung out with the stupid jerk in tow. Guy was either skittish, though Kiba doubted this as he'd never been shy about yelling at people in Bio, or he knew about the singing. Or maybe Danzo was worried about the other guy stealing his lunch money, Kiba snickered- judging by the similarity of their wrinkles, they'd probably gone to Konoha at the same time. The soccer ball in his arms began to slip but Kiba hitched it back up before it could go rolling across the floor.

"I won't cry! I won't cry!" Shaky sing-shouts continued to sound from the other side of the gym, the person making them blatantly contradicting himself.

"Sir-" Neji peered at the man beside him worriedly.

"Whoa- stand now, stand by me!" Chester belted out the last few notes, then sighed deeply as if he'd just experienced some great catharsis. Neji seemed to be at a complete loss as to what to say or do next, eventually settling for patting the man's arm awkwardly.

"What ho, my boy! I'll get this washed and returned to you in no time flat, no need to worry about that." Chester exclaimed cheerfully in an unnerving moodswing, whipping out a small digital camera from his coat flaps and snapping a photo of the concrete. Was he Neji's uncle? Or maybe his father? Why were they together here? _And what's so great about that wall..._ Kiba almost muttered this last thought out loud but managed to stop himself just in time. The gym had a serious echo, the school for some reason having opted for extra high ceilings (just 'cause they could?), and he thought freako over there might charge at him for disrupting his sob-fest.

"No time flat..." Chester took one more longing glance around the basketball lines on the gym floor, glazed eyes flicking past Kiba but completely ignoring him, before stepping towards the stage. The faint snorting sound had stopped a while ago, the little clip-clops too, but Kiba still felt his curiousity rise at the prospect of Chester finding something there. The man simply turned, however, and gesturing for Neji to follow, escorted himself out the doors.

_Oh well. _Kiba threw the soccerball Mr. Guy normally kept outside for Lee up in the air then caught it with one hand. _I wonder_ _what Naruto's doing...  
_

**/POV/**

"Get out."

"No. Not until you apologize." Any semblance of civility had flown out the window long before and now Naruto just felt like giving the Uchiha a good thwack. Maybe on the base of his neck.

Sasuke glared as fiercely as he could at the blond boy sitting cross-legged and crossed-arms on his roommate's bed in some pointless show of defiance. This was getting ridiculous. "I have nothing to apologize for- it would be natural to suspect someone who so obviously fits the criminal's image." The idiot blond had refused to leave, even after Sasuke had dismissed him.

Naruto's eyes widened and he glared back, furious. "I look like a criminal?"

Sasuke raised an eyebrow at the permanently cheerful boy's anger. "Did I say that?"

"You bast-" Sasuke's eyebrow went higher. "Apologize!"

"My my, lapsed back into that have we? Didn't your parents ever tell you it's rude to swear at people?"

Naruto snapped. In a few brief strides he had crossed the sparklingly clean carpet to stare the dark haired boy down from above. Sasuke may have been taller standing up, but sitting, Naruto towered over him. Fists clenched at his side, eyes narrowed in the most menacing fashion he could muster, the boy cut a powerful figure. Sasuke had gone too far, making a snide comment against his parents like that. "Apologize." His voice had lost its calmness, he sounded as if he might really start throwing punches if provoked any further.

Sasuke saw all of this but didn't care.

"Do it. I dare you."

**/POV/**

"My boy-" Chester spun around as soon as the gymnasium door had clicked shut, grabbing Neji's shoulders and making him jump despite himself. "Do you have any idea of what has just transpired?" The man said quietly in a voice hoarse from yelling. Neji opened his mouth reply but Chester cut him off, answering for him. "Yes, yes, of course you do. Well run along then! And don't let me hear about this getting around to the other students." He winked and, releasing Neji, spun around again to walk back the way they had come. It might have looked nonchalent had he not been whistling out of tune and looking furtively from side to side.

Neji didn't know whether the man, apparently called Chester, knew where he was going, but for once in his life he didn't care to know.

That guy officially _freaked_ him out. He had half-considered just booking it out of that gymnasium when he'd started crooning some song from the fifties. The photos he could chalk up to some form of tourism, even if they _had_ been of litter that hadn't quite made it into the garbage can and a lopsided table with uneven legs. Some people liked to remember obscure, sometimes weird, things about a place. But staring at some non-descript spot on the wall for ten minutes as if it held fond memories just beyond the surface?

_That ain't normal._ Neji blinked, surprised at his own informal language, then amended; _the man is definitely unbalanced. _Being around Chester for too long seemed to have unbalanced _him_ as well.

And what about the other boy who had witnessed the second coming of crazy?_ Not just witnessed, stared like the man had been about to burst into flames. _How rude. He was the same one too, who had knocked Neji over and not even apologized. How dare he act like someone else's mental instability existed for his own personal entertainment? Neji could feel his annoyance rise, body bristling slightly in indignation and suddenly proud to have accomodated Chester's eccentric behaviour. Poor man, he was eccentric, that was all. And yet Kiba had gone and laughed at him all the same- maybe even audibly, the gym may have had an echo but simple physics dictated that a small chuckle could not carry over the sound of empasisoned singing.

_That's it_, Neji decided. He was going to go right back there and give that boy a piece of his mind.

**/POV/**

Sai yawned widely and readjusted the frilly sofa pillow stashed beneath his head. On an unrelated note, he'd also stashed the charming little cat figure from Shizune's coffee table in his coat pocket as part of his reward. The woman still had yet to show and the sky had been getting steadily darker so he figured he may as well rest while he waited. Not to mention how comfortable the couch had turned out to be... Sai had always loved the cold, smooth feel of leather. He hadn't heard Tonton for a while either, she was probably already sleeping in her old bed. Sai had stopped being sad about losing his pet an hour or so ago, having decided that he'd rather have the rest of those animal figurines. The old lady might let him have them if he asked. He turned lazily to face the backrest, blocking out what little light continued to bravely filter in through the windows.

**/POV/**

_I want to run my tongue over ever part of your glorious... my hands irreparably tangled in your... ecstasy everywhere... squash and other vegetables..._

Itachi coughed, trying to cover up his embarrassment as sections of Orochimaru's letter continued to crop up in his mind, however much he tried to push them away. It was extremely inappropriate to be thinking about such things in a public hallway. What few people were left wandering the halls were probably looking at him strangely, wondering why the 'stoic stallion', something he'd overheard Sasuke's pink-haired friend call him (hopefully jokingly), was blushing like a schoolgirl for no reason.

"-rd... ah... nd-" Itachi paused. That almost sounded like Sasuke's voice. "-rgh... orels... unha-" No, he was sure it was his brother's voice, the boy's room was nearby. Curious, Itachi decided to follow the source of the shouting. Could he possibly have found the culprit already? Itachi quickened his pace, now striding with dignified gait, with every step the voices getting clearer.

"-cking loser, get off!"

"Apologize!"

A thud, more swearing.

"Hah!"

"Oh yeah, take that-"

Whatever excitement Itachi had been feeling now turned to dread. Sasuke had occasionally gotten into fights when they were younger, but that had been a long time ago. Whatever maniac had trashed his room was probably big and strong, possibly a black belt in karate, might even have a gun! Itachi felt his pulse quicken as he ran as fast as he could the rest of the way, ran like his imagination.

"And this!"

"Sasuke!" Itachi burst into the room, having found the door slightly ajar and most certainly unlocked.

The younger Uchiha boy, now sporting a split lip and some nasty looking bruises, looked up at his brother from where he was currently straddling the chest of a kicking blond with a black eye.

**/POV/**

"Got it?" Shizune tried to lean around the tall bags in her arms without dropping them. Not just tall, heavy- really heavy. She mentally sweatdropped as she thought somewhat indignantly of the man not even offering to help.

Kakashi gave a short 'yo' before swinging open the door to her apartment and stepping aside to let her pass. He twirled the key on his finger, holding it out to her.

"Thanks- ah, just one second." Shizune rushed inside to deposit the bags of food, corn, greens and wheat. After what had felt like hours of fruitless searching, Tsunade had finally told her to set up traps around the school. Tonton had to be hungry (poor baby), and she'd never been able to resist a good meal. As soon as the pig stepped onto the weight-activated platform- bam, a large metal cage would descend upon her. It would probably shake her up a bit and the students might start asking questions, but the important thing was that they would have her home, safe and sound. "One second..." Shizune repeated, slightly breathlessly as she retreated back into the hallway to take her key from Kakashi. Unhelpful as he may have been in carrying the groceries, he had (grudgingly, Shizune suspected) agreed to be her taxi as her own car had broken down just when she needed it the most.

"Kakashi?" He wasn't in the hallway. "Uh..." _Did he just leave?_ She wouldn't put it past him, but neither could she see her key on the floor anywhere.

"Kakashi?" Shizune wandered back into her apartment, thinking he might have followed her inside to wait in the living room. "Kakash-" She turned the corner but froze at the strange sight which awaited her. What on earth was Danzo's nephew doing sleeping on her couch? And there was Kakashi, cocking an eyebrow at her like he'd just caught her cheating on her tax returns.

"A little young, isn't he?"

"What are you-" Shizune started to say, then coloured when she caught the implication of his words. "Pardon me! I most certainly am not doing whatever it is you think I've been doing!" How dare he imply that she was having inappropriate relations with a student! _Argh!_

"And what exactly do I think you've been doing? I'm just sayin'," Kakashi continued sardonically with a glance at Sai's modified shirt. "There's a half-naked kid on your couch."

"He always looks like that and you know it!" Shizune knew it wasn't the most pressing issue but- gah! "Tsunade's told him off so many times!"

Sai looked up blearily, having been woken by the shouting. "What-?"

**X X X X**

**:D**


	20. Chapter Tventy :O

**I say I'm not gonna leave you hanging and then my story-writing brain breaks down. Jeeez. (- n -)''  
**

**I wouldn't keep checking back if I were you. Don't trust my updating!  
**

**... Chapter twenty :)**

**X X X X**

"Let go." Sasuke's tone was threatening but it wasn't the boy holding him back who was receiving a death glare.

Itachi shook his head, partly in answer to Sasuke's comand and partly in disbelief. His brother had always excelled at keeping his emotions in check- with teachers, with other kids, with their parents... They both had.

But here he was, just seconds ago in the violent throes of a very emotional shouting match. Itachi had never known Sasuke's feelings to be so affected by another person.

At least they didn't seem to be in too bad of shape, considering both boys could still stand and glare daggers at each other like that.

"I said let go, Itachi." Another new one- Sasuke was usually very respectful of his older brother, admiring even. If this had happened a year ago, the younger boy would have stalked off, angry but cooperative, the second Itachi told him to stop.

"Have a seat, Sasuke."

**/POV/**

The gym door banged shut behind Neji with unwarranted force. The small gust of wind which blew from it gently brushed some strands of hair across his face, but the motionless boy could still see it, see the fat fleshy animal squealing and running around the brown haired boy in circles.

_What kind of joke_- Neji lost track of what he was thinking, never mind his reason for coming here, his mind having suddenly gone blank.

Nothing made sense today- a strange old man crooning love songs to the wall, a live pig in the school, delinquent one without his buddy delinquent two (Neji knew them to be roommates, he'd seen them together so often that they had practically become lovers in his mind), Kakashi giving Sasuke the 90% the man had so obstinately refused him before. The latter pleased Neji and he made a mental note to congratulate his friend later on, but on a more serious note, the universe was clearly broken.

Kiba had looked up at the sudden intrusion, his eyes now wavering uncertainly from pig to Neji.

"Uh... It's not mine."

**/POV/**

"It's his fault- he started it." Sasuke glared at the wall ahead as if it had said something to seriously offend him, speaking gingerly around his bruised lips.

"Don't believe him- _he_ started it." Naruto stared angrily at the same wall from where Sasuke's brother had forced him to sit a few paces away.

_This is going nowhere slowly_. Itachi resisted the urge to massage his forehead, exasperated that his attempt at resolving whatever conflict had started the fist fight was failing miserably. "And what exactly did he start?"

"He's an idiot." "He insulted my parents!" Both boys tried to speak at once, yelling over each other. _And I just got the yelling to stop too..._

"Okay, okay. Naruto, you first." The blond boy continued to stare down (pout at?) the wall, but seemed slightly mollified that he had been chosen over Sasuke, who for his part, was now muttering something about breaking family ties.

"Well first he was going all psycho on me, saying I trashed his room or something, then he started taking shots at my family, like they were bad or whatever. He tried to rip off my clothes!" Naruto turned to Sasuke angrily, staring at him accusingly.

Itachi sweatdropped. "Turn back to the wall. Sasuke, is that true?"

The black haired boy spoke without moving. "I had every reason to believe this person to be the culprit. I did nothing wrong." A loud noise of disagreement came from the other end of the bed.

_I was thinking more of the 'clothes-tearing' part, but okay..._ "What did you say about Naruto's parents?"

"..."

Itachi waited, the whirring of the ceiling fan counting the seconds, the broken clock Itachi had polished and replaced on the wall not quite keeping time.

"Sorry." It was clipped and emotionless but it was a start.

"Naruto, do you accept his apology?"

"..."

"He did say he was sorry."

"..." Naruto glanced covertly along the bed and, seeing Sasuke nod once, eventually muttered something like 'fine'.

"What was that?" Itachi spoke coaxingly, careful not to startle the snail back into its shell.

"I said I guess so."

"Good." Itachi almost smiled with relief. "Good. Now you can kiss and make up and this entire thing will be over."

A tense silence punctured the air before he had even finished his sentence, death glares flying once more. _Oh for god's sake..._ _What now?_

**/POV/**

Kiba mentally sweatdropped watching whats-his-face watch him. The guy was so freaking intense that Kiba had begun to wonder if he didn't even know about Tsunade's pet.

But then nobody'd ever actually seen it before, just heard the suspicious sounds when they passed the teachers' apartments when people had their windows open and seen the animal feed bags in the trash, so maybe Neji was just surprised. Really surprised.

Kiba ran a hand through his already-mussed hair and turned his head towards the wall for a moment. When he looked back, the guy was still staring but the urgency had gone. It wasn't like Neji was going to rat and tell a teacher that Kiba was keeping wild pigs in his room, besides, they'd probably just laugh about it if he tried.

Well maybe not Danzo- he might demand a full investigation and put everyone through hell, but most of the teachers, thank god, weren't so messed.

Tonton was nudging his legs, so Kiba obliged and squatted down to pat her on the head.

Bam! The gym door banged open again, causing both boys to whip their heads around at the sound. Neji seemed to have recovered his senses as he managed to jump out of the way just before Danzo, arms now laden with the various sized chisels they'd use to sculpt clay in art, trampled him.

"Heh heh heh." The man brushed within an inch of Neji's rapidly retreating jacket. "Just a little longer..." Danzo went straight for what must have been the most popular wall in the school and started to hack away.

Neji smoothed himself now, hair somehow falling perfectly back into place. Kiba shrugged and sat himself fully down on the smooth linoleum, watching layers of paint chip away and land on the floor. Apparently whatever had been painted over was still there.

**/POV/**

"Tally ho! Tally ho!" Chester chortled happily to himself as he walked through the old halls of Konoha Secondary with his hands tucked behind his back, imagining himself to be dressed in his old hall-monitor uniform.

How he missed being here every day! The burgundy carpets, the cracked stone walls, even the gaggles of students standing around when they should have been studying which he'd hated as a teenager.

"You there, get back to your room!" The girl he was pointing at jumped and grabbed her friend's arm, dragging her away down the hall.

Good old Konoha Secondary.

**/POV/**

"Haah..." Tsunade yawned widely, massaging her sore neck with both arms. She'd been on her way to her personal apartment for a late dinner when she caught sight of the sandy-haired, mustachioed man walking past. She'd know that familiar profile anywhere!

But what was Chesty Chester doing in the school 30 years after he'd elaborately vowed, ceremony and all, never to return (his melodramatic way of celebrating graduation)? Haha, that kid was a classic.

No one had ever called him 'Chesty' to his face, they hadn't been that cruel (or if they had, many people had called Oro Sssneaky to his face, Chester had at least been spared that), but he really did have a bigger chest than most of the girls at school. Tsunade had probably been the only one with a larger cup size.

"Hey- Chesty-er, Chester!" _Dammit_. "What brings you here?" Tsunade waved cheerily but for some reason the man started walking faster. Weird. She was sure he'd looked in her direction. "Hey, Chester, wait up!"

**/POV/**

"Hahh..." Shizune breathed out in a long, calming sigh. This evening had turned out to be more eventful than she'd expected. Kakashi and Danzo's equally odd nephew had finally left after a long discussion as to the current and past whereabouts of Tonton, and exactly how the boy had gotten into her apartment in the first place. Shizune still wasn't quite sure she believed that a passing custodian had noticed him waiting on the floor outside and just unlocked the door for him. It was true that Mrs. Bartleby was new and hadn't seemed to have gotten the hang of her new position just yet, but really.

The point was, Tonton had until very recently been under the (questionable) care and protection of Sai Shimura, who had apparently found her wandering around the bleachers and, concerned that a wild animal was loose on school grounds, decided to bring her to the principal's assistant. He had seemed genuinely shocked that Tonton had once again escaped, though it was rather difficult to tell as his face didn't move very much.

Well fair enough. Besides, now Kakashi had someone to help him plant and load the traps. They had better work considering all the extra paperwork Shizune was now pouring over... Sure she could have skipped the bribery and done them herself, but Shizune was tired from staying up late every night to search for a rogue pig. So tired... Shizune's head hit the desk with a light thump and she began to snore, a closely guarded secret between her and her old roommate and current boss, almost immediately.

**/POV/**

"Have you put in roots? How long are you planning on staying where you're not wanted?"

"As if I'd even wanna stay! You could beg me for days and I wouldn't- Hey, what's that on the floor? Did he drop something?" Naruto whisper-shouted/ said in his normal voice as his reciprical tirade suddenly changed to innocent curiosity.

Their argument now had to be held in hushed tones to avoid Itachi's notice. Neither of them wanted him to come back, and he _would_ come back, in case he'd make them write each other letters and rip them up again or insist that they shake hands until he was satisfied they weren't just trying to crush each other's fingers. Again. Man, that guy was intense.

Naruto bent over to pick up the worn brownish-yellow paper lying innocently on the floor.

"'To my dearest pistil'- what's a pistil?"

**X X X X**

**Don't trust it!**

**Also, what a dull chapter. Nothing happened... \(- ^ -)/  
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